How I know you
by KendraPendragon
Summary: One morning, Remus crashes into a beautiful young woman. She takes him home with her. There he learns that she has a heart for wild creatures! And maybe for him too? He definitely is drawn to her deep black eyes...He knows them...somehow...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Remus Lupin and the wizarding world belong to the great J.K. Rowling. I just burrw for this little story wich crossed my mind a while ago. The setting is pre-HBP.

**A/N:** I always believed in destiny and in soulmates. I was fascinated by the idea, that there a people in your life you met _before_. So I wanted to write a story about it!...If you review (PLEEEAAAASEEEE!), be gentle. This is my first fanfic in english. My mother-tongue is german, so forgive me for time mistakes and whatever! But please tell me what I've done wrong! But first enjoy reading! (hopefully)

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**First (?) Meeting**

Remus Lupin was on his way back to 12 Grimmauld Place. He has been on a mission for the Order. He hasn't been succesful, what pained him. While he walked through a shopping mile filled with muggles, he was lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly he crashed into someone. Remus heard something crack and felt an urging pain in his hand.

„Oh fuck! I'm SORRY! Shit! Are you okay? Don't touch it! Oh gosh, this doesn't look good!"

Remus was still trying to understand what had happened. He looked down on his hand. It was bleeding. And on the ground laid broken glass. As he heard something getting torn apart, he looked up. In front of him stood a young woman, who tore her cotton blouse into a big strap.

„No, Miss! It's not necessary!"

„Are you kidding! Of course it's necessary! You're bleeding like hell! Give me your hand! Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't watch my step!...As always."

Remus couldn't help but smile. This lady reminded him of a certain metamorphmagus. The fair-haired woman wrapped her strap around Lupin's hand. She seemed to know what she was doing.

„Thanks!" he said and wanted to go on. The woman grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

„Where do you think you're going? This won't help for long! I need to clean and bandage your hand! Come on, my house isn't far away from here. I have a car."

He wasn't sure what to think. It surely wasn't a good idea to go with a muggle. And he had to get back to headquaters. He could heal himself with a charm on the way.

„No, really, Miss. I'm fine."

„Please let me help you! I'm a doctor, I know what I'm doing. Or aren't you allowed to go with strangers?" She smiled at him. Her black eyes shone with kindness. All of a sudden, he knew he could trust her. But he didn't know why... And she wasn't going to let him go, for she was still holding tight to his arm. Remus nodded slightly. The woman seemed released.

„Okay! Let's go then."

He followed her to her car. It was a blue Ford Fiesta. Seemed pretty new. She opened the passenger's door and helped him to climb in, although not necessary. Remus noticed the blankets on the backseats and the funny smell.

The young lady climbed into her seat. She reached over with one hand, pulled the belt over him and fastened it. Then she turned his hand a little bit. Remus inhaled sharply. She looked up.

„I'm so sorry! You're lucky that the glass didn't hurt your veine! This is just not my day. And it isn't yours either, huh?"

„Obviously not!"

They smiled at each other. Then the fairhead pulled back and started the engine. Soft music started to play and Remus heard a gentle man's voice sing:

„ _How I know you,_

_how I know you._

_Before that fateful morning_..."

Remus thought about this lyrics and looked at the young woman. _How I know you..._

„Oh, I'm sorry! Shall I switch it off?"

„No. It's nice. I was actually wondering what it is."

„It's 'Aida'. Do you know the musical?"

Remus shook his head.

„Well, you missed something. It's wonderful! I could record it for you, if you are interested."

„Thanks, but I don't have a...CD-Player." Gladly he remembered the name for this muggle thing.

„You don't like music?"

„I love music. I have an old phonograph."

The woman whirled her head around.

„Are you serious?"

Remus nodded.

„I can't afford anything else."

„Oh...well, as long as it plays music, who cares! So, what kind of music do you listen to?"

They had a small conversation about music. He was surprised that she knew the old songs he loved most. She didn't like every song he named, but some of them.

„Okay, this is it."

She turned off the motor and climbed out of the car. Remus unfastened his belt and wanted to open the door but she was faster. As Remus thanked and climbed out, she asked:

„Ehem...are you afraid of dogs?"

„No. Why?"

„Because..."

Remus heard a loud barking coming from the house. The lady smiled.

„I have some...But I will lock them outside. Maybe it's not a good idea to let them smell the blood. Just in case!" Again this lovely smile.

„Just wait here. I'm hurrying!"

She ran to her house and slipped inside. The barking got even louder. Remus noticed that it didn't sound like dogs at all.

He looked around. For the first time he noticed that they were far away from the city. Almost next to a forest. Then he looked at the house. It was an old red brick house. Two floors. Behind the house seemed to be a big garden with a big fence. Seemed to be steel. Suddenly the barking got louder. The_ dogs_ were let outside. Just that they weren't dogs like she had said. It were wolves. Half a dozen of them! They jumped against the fence and barked at him.

„Oh, shut up, you six! Show your lovely side for once!"

Remus heard a door close and a few minutes later she came back to him.

„Okay, air is clean now. I'm sorry, but it's a mess in there. We are not used to visitors."

She led him to the door. As Remus came closer, the barking stopped and all the wolves raised their noses and sniffed. They seemed to recognise him. For a moment Remus felt panic rise inside of him, but the woman just smiled.

„This is awesome! They seem to like you! Come in!"

Remus was let into a small entry hall. She took of his robe and laid it over a chair. She led him into the living room. It was a light room, with big windows and a glassdoor leading to the garden. All the wolves jumped up the window and looked at him. The tiled floor was covered with footprints of the animals. The big read couch stood on a white carpet. And like a miracle, there weren't any prints on it.

„I'm sorry about the mess. I must clean this room every day more than once. But...oh no! Go away from the windows! I cleaned them just yesterday! Shoo!"

She made a movement with her hand and the wolves ran away into the forest. Then she pushed Remus down on the couch.

„Please...try not to bleed on my carpet!"

Remus laughed. The woman grinned and went into the kitchen.

„Would you like something to drink? Some water? That's all I have, by the way."

„Thanks!" Remus shouted back.

He was watching a picture on the wall. It was her, sitting in the grass. In her hands she held three little puppies. The other three were around her, trying to climb on her lap. She was kissing one of the puppies on it's nose. It was obvious that the small wolves adored her.

She had raised them. He had never heard of someone who was able to tame wolves. At least not completely. But these obeyed at a gesture of her.

At this very thought she reentered the room. She balanced an aid kit, a bowl of water and a glass of water in her hands. Slightly she set the things on the table. Then she let herself drop next to him on the floor.

„Okay, let me see this."

Carefully she moved the cloth away. It already stuck to his wound. She took the small sponge from the bowl and cleaned his hand as good as possible. She was gentle and her fingers were soft. Remus watched her carefully. She had a nice heartshaped face, big dark eyes, a small nose and full red lips. She reminded him of a fairy.

„What's your name, by the way?" She asked, completely drown into her work.

He cleared his throat. He knew wizard's names often sounded funny to muggles.

„Remus Lupin." She froze and quickly looked up, straight in his eyes. For a few heartbeats none of them spoke a word. She looked confused.

„Are you making fun of me?" she whispered.

„No. I wouldn't dare."

Another moments passed, she holding his hand, looking at him.

„It's a beautiful name."

Remus smiled. For one moment he thought her cheeks flushed, but she quickly lowered her head. She grabbed a little bottle with a clear fluid in it.

„Okay, this know is going to hurt. But I have to disinfect your wounds. Again, I am really sorry about that!"

„What did I broke, by the way?

„It was a bigger glass for my fish."

She sprayed the disinfectant on his wound.

„Ouch!"

„Sorry!" She smiled at him.Then she asked:

„So, do you have any pets?"

„No." _I AM one! Well, not exactly..._

„Don't you like animals?"

„I do, but I just can't care for a pet. Too expensive for me."

Normally, he wouldn't talk about his financial situation to a stranger. Not even to his friends. But this young lady just made him say all this personal stuff.

„I definitely know what you mean! My little friends outside are always hungry! And I mean always."

This led him to the question he wanted to ask her since he had seen her 'little friends' for the first time.

„You know these aren't dogs, don't you?"

The young woman laughed.

„ Of course I know! But I didn't want to frighten you...Obviously you've met one before. And it's seems to me that this meeting wasn't a pleasure to you."

Remus knew she meant the scars on his face. While he thought of a humorous answer, she washed her hands, disinfected them and dried them by rubbing it up and down her jeans.

She looked up at him, but he still didn't knew what to say. He had had this conversation a hundred times before, but he had never talked to a muggle about it.

Suddenly the young woman got up on her knees and looked straight at his scars.

„It must be a while ago...They are old...May I?"

She really wanted to touch them! Normally Remus would have said no, but somehow her eyes told him that he could trust her. He nodded.

First, the at least ten years younger woman put her hand under his chin and turned his head slightly to the right, so that she had a better view. She seemed to look at them highly concentrated.

„This has been a very big one."

Her fingers wandered along the lines of his scars.

„You're lucky that it didn't scratch your eye...It must have been really painful...When did this happen to you?"

„She moves straight to the point!" Remus thought.

„I was four when it happened, so it's nearly 30 years ago." He had no idea why he told her this!

„You are a lucky man, Remus Lupin, that you have survived this attack...My brother wasn't that lucky."

Remus gasped.

„Are you telling me that your brother was killed by a wolf?"

„Yes. He was eleven years old. I was six. We stole away from home one night. We wanted to camp in the forest, but our parents wouldn't allow it...He heard the wolf first. We tried to run away, but this was our mistake. We should have stayed by the fire...Well, he was close behind me and shouted at me to run and not to look back...And then the shouting stopped. I was so frightened that I didn't recognise until I was out of the forest. I turned around and waited for him, but he wouldn't come. Just _it_ did..."

„The wolf?" Remus whispered.

„Yes. It stood at the end of the forest and watched me. It was the biggest animal I've ever seen. I looked into those yellow eyes and couldn't move...It just looked at me. It's mouth and claws were covered with my brother's blood...Sometimes, I still see this look in my dreams. You can't imagine it. Maybe it's just something my mind made up, so that my soul wouldn't break, but he looked at me...like...like he wanted to say...that he was sorry. I know this must sound stupid to you...It sounds stupid to me!"

Remus started shaking. What if **he** had been this wolf?

„What happened next?"

„My father reached me and shot it."

Remus closed his eyes. His heart never felt lighter. Then he felt her hand on his knee.

„I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you sad... I really don't know why I tell you this. Sometimes I talk before I think. I just wanted to let you know that you can be happy to be alive...you have so sad eyes."

He opened his sad eyes and looked at her. Her eyes didn't seem to be sad.

„Why aren't yours?" he whispered. She thought about it.

„Because I have cried three weeks when I was six and a month when I was old enough to understand the whole uselessness of his death. I made my peace with what had happened. And in a way my brother is always around me...through my family."

Remus knew that she meant the wolves. It seemed weird to him that she called the wolves her family. The woman seemed to understand his look.

„Yeah, it's not easy to understand. But when I was sixteen I read a book about Indian mythology. There it said that a soul can always come back to earth in shape of an animal. And I'm sure that he would return as one of them..."

„Is that the reason you got them?"

„I guess so. They are wonderful creatures. Mysterious. I just love them...And you? Are you frightened?"

„Well, I guess not. In a way, I know how they are."

The young woman didn't understand what he meant, but smiled.

„Do you want me to introduce you?"

„I don't know if that's a good idea."  
„I'm sure they will like you. They seemed very interested in you. I've never seen this reaction before. And I'd really like to know what this means. And you're hand is bandaged now. No worries, I will protect you."

They lookedat each other again. She will protect him... For a moment Remus had the feeling, that he had heard her say this before...But this was impossible, of course! They had just met. And still there was this familiarity. He felt comfortable around her. And he had no idea why...

The woman stood up and hold her hand out to him. While Remus looked up to her, he felt like he was completely drawn to her. Slowly, he laid his hand in hers and stood up. He was nearly a head taller than her. They stood close, hands still touching. He could smell her. She smelled like summer. For a moment, Remus was completely drown in her deep black eyes. _How I know you..._

„What did you say?" she whispered.

„Me?...Nothing! You wanted to introduce me, right?" he smiled at her nervously.

„Yeah! Sure!"

She let go of his hand and opened the door leading to the garden. Remus followed her outside. She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. Then he heard one of the wolves howl and shortly after that the six of them came running from different directions out of the forest. As they came closer, the young lady stepped in front of Remus and raised a hand. At once, the wolves stopped. All of them sniffed curiously.

„Lads, I want to introduce you to Remus Lupin. I nearly killed him today, so be nice."

She turned to Remus, who was smiling because of her comment about that killing thing.

„Are you ready? Don't get scared. They can smell it."

„I know. Don't worry, I am not scared yet."

„Okay then!" She smiled and slightly stepped aside.

The biggest wolf, obviously the alpha, took a few steps and sniffed at him. Remus did the same without knowing. He could smell the wolf's interest in him. So they really knew what he was. Slowly, Remus held out a hand to it's nose. The alpha inhaled Remus' scent deeply. After a few moments, in which the wolf looked straight into Remus' eyes, he shortly howled and wagged his tail. All the others started sniffing and tail wagging. It was a little chaos. Everyone wanted to sniff him and Remus was surrounded by wolves.

„Amazing!" he heard whisper the blonde.

„Guess they like me!" Remus answered with a boyish smile.

„Like you? They adore you! I've never seen this before! This is just..."

„Amazing?"

She smiled at him. „Yes! Just amazing!"

After a few more moments she freed Remus from her family.

„Okay, Mr. Lupin. I like you to meet Freki. He is the alphawolf of the pack, of course. And to his left stands his younger brother Geri. Next to him is Fenrir. This is the male part of my little family." As she introduced them, she stroke the wolves' fur and patted them proudly.

„And now to the female part: This beauty here is the youngest, her name is Leviyah. We're trying to get this lady pregnant at the moment! Aren't we, Levi?" She knelt down, put the face of the young wolf in her hands and petted her furiously. Remus laughed. The woman beemed at him and stood up again. She moved to the next wolf and stroke it's head.

„This one is Asena. She is Geri's wife... Most times." She winked at Remus.

„And this one is the female alpha. She is Leviyah's sister...Her name is Lupa."

She looked at Remus, waiting for a sign of recognition. And she got it. Remus nodded.

„Lupa was the name of the wolf who suckled Romulus and Remus."

„Yes."

„What a coincidence."

„I don't believe in coincidence, Remus Lupin."

They watched each other for a few more minutes. Again, Remus felt as if he could see something in the dephts ofher eyes. Somethin familiar...Suddenly Asena pushed her side.

The blonde rolled her eyes and looked down.

„Yes, I know it's time again. Thanks for reminding me so gently!" She rubbed her hip.

„It's time for their lunch" she explained to Remus.

„Would you mind assisting me?"

Remus shook his head.

„Great! Follow me!... No, you stay outside!" she told the wolves and closed the door behind Remus. The animals started pressing their noses against the door and wagged their tails in agitation.

Remus was led into the kitchen. It was a nice one. Just the opposite of the kitchen in 12 Grimmauld Place. It was painted in a light tone and the cupboards had a nice red tone. In the middle stood a table surrounded by four chairs. On one wall hung a collage with lots of pictures of her and her wolves in different periods of growth. He tried to recognise them, but for him they looked like one another. He could just separate them by smell. Suddenly he recognised, that he had no idea what her name was.

As he turned around, she pulled six big dog dishes out of the cupboard and held them out to him. He took them and said:

„You know, it's very nice that you introduced me to your family. But I would have appreciated if you had introduced yourself first."

She blinked at him. It took her some seconds to understand she hadn't told him her name.

„You know me" she whispered absently.

„Poud'n?" He didn't know if he understood correctly.

She cleared her throat and smiled again.

„I'm sorry. My name is...Hope. Hope Brandish."

„That's a very nice name. Very positive in fact."

„Thank you, Mr. Lupin." She smiled at him.

For the first time, his name sounded unfitting to him.

„Please, call me Remus. I think, after your whole family sniffed at me, this is more proper!"

Hope laughed. He really liked the sound of it.

„Just if you call me Hope!"

„It would be my pleasure!"

She seemed to blush a little.

„So, Remus. Are you ready to feed the beasts?"

He nodded.

Hope turned around and opened the big refrigerator. She pulled out a huge sack with meat. Hope threw it over her shoulder. She looked like Santa clause. Remus was surprised that she could handle the weight on her back easily.

„We'll feed them outside."

They went into the living room. Her family were gathered at the door. Hope made this gesture again. The wolves obeyed, but not that fast. Remus was more than impressed.

„How did you tame them?" he asked.

„With a lot of hard work. And even more love."

She opened the door and went outside. Remus followed her and put the cups on the grass. As he raised, he saw the wolves. They stood a few feet away, sniffing and tail wagging. Hope put the sack down and opened it. While filling the cups with the meat (with bare hands), she said:

„The first year I stayed with them all day. I became one of them, actually. I was the alpha. During summer I slept with them outside."

„I imagine this was quite tough for you."

Hope smiled.

„It was the greatest time of my life. I loved it. You can't imagine this, Remus. I felt so...free! So alive! It was just amazing!"

Remus smiled. He couldn't help himself, but his heart warmed at her words. She knew what it was to sleep outside. To live with beasts. Although small ones.

„This must sound stupid to you" she said with cheeks blushed.

Remus knelt down beside her and touched her arm.

„No, it doesn't. Not at all! I think it's rather impressive."

She blushed even more, but beamed at him.

„Thank you, Remus."

He really liked the way she spoke his name. For a few moments, their eyes locked again. He could hear this male voice inside his head again: _„How I know you..."_

He didn't feel uncomfortable around her, although she was a stranger to him. And a muggle!

Hope smiled at him. A knowing smile, he thought. What do you know about us, Hope? What do you want to tell me with this look in your beautiful dark eyes?

Freki growled. Hope sighed and broke the eye contact.

Then she snapped:

„Don't be so impatient, Mister-I'm-the-boss-of-everyone! Or you'll get nothing at all!"

Freki growled again, but lower this time.

„Grrrrrrr!" Hope growled back.

Remus laughed.

„You are weird!"

"Wow! Where did THAT came from?", Remus asked himself.

But Hope just shrugged, still smiling.

„I know. But I'm not the only one here, Mister Lupin!"

She got back to work. Remus just smiled. He couldn't help himself.

„I like it when you smile like this, Remus. It makes your eyes so much happier."

Remus heart stopped beating. She hadn't even looked at him! How...Why...

While Remus was still wondering, Hope finished her work and stood up, with the sack in her hand, which was half empty now. Then she whistled through her teeth. At once the wolves ran to their cups and started eating. Leviyah first licked the blood from Hope's

arms. Hope giggled and petted the wolf on the head when she was done.

„Let them eat" she said and pulled him back inside. She went into the kitchen and pulled the sack back into her fridge. Then she washed her arms. When she came back to the living room, Remus was watching her. Hope even walked like a fairy. She reached him and just looked at him. Again she had this little smile upon her face. It drove him mad. He felt stupid. He wanted to know what's going on here! But he knew she wouldn't tell him. He wanted to stamp a food on the ground like a child. He wanted to shake her, to get this smile off her face.

Suddenly he realised, that he was smiling, too.

What the heck was wrong with him? He had to get out of there.

„Well..." he said, „I better get going. I stole your time long enough."

„I lead you to the door, then" she said. Was there sadness in her voice?

She took his arm and let him to the door. She pulled up his robe and held it out to him.

He thanked her and slipped into it. As he turned around, her hands followed him around his shoulders and rested on his chest. She was adjusting his robe. Remus just hoped she couldn't feel his heart beating hard against his chest. Unconscious he inhaled her scent deeply. Too good, he thought.

Hope looked up, smiling again. Her eyes weren't as bright as before, he noticed.

„It was a great pleasure to meet you, Remus Lupin." Her voice was soft.

„My pleasure, Hope Brandish" he smiled at her.

„Can I drive you back to the city?"

„No, I'm fine. But thanks."

She smiled and fumbled with his robe. Remus was very aware of her touch. All his senses seemed to focus on this one spot where her hand was touching him.

„GET OUT!" a voice screamed inside his head.

Remus cleared his throat.

„Well...I better get going."

„Don't."

„Poud'n?"

„Ahem...I mean...I wanted to invite you!"

She left him and went to another room. Remus fought with the sudden cold around him. He couldn't fight a feeling of loss. But he hadn't have enough time to wonder about this, cause she was coming back, with a little red flyer in her hand.

„Here" she handed it over to him.

He read it out loud:

_**The Lady of the wolves**_

_Experience the ancient tale about an Indian princess, _

_who was lost,_

_endangered,_

_strengthened,_

_feared,_

_and loved._

_Don't miss_ Hope Brandish _run, play and fight with her 6 grown wolves!_

_An adventure you will never forget!_

_Date: 16th July_

"I thought you are a doctor?"

„Well...I was on my way to that. I studied some semesters, but I never made my final exams, 'cause I got the opportunity to raise wolves. And I took this chance. Are you mad of me for lying to you?"

"No."

"So...Will you come? Entrance is free!"

He didn't know what to tell her. Honestly, he'd love to see her again. She was kind of fascinating with her gentle eyes and her knowing smile. But he knew it wouldn't be a good idea. A war was coming up. He couldn't afford to fall for her. Cause if he was true to himself, there was definitely a chance to that...

„Ahem...I don't know. Maybe I'll have to work..."

„Oh...well, that's more important, of course. I...I'd just like to see you again, Remus." Hope looked down, hiding her flush from him. So she couldn't see his red cheeks.

„Well,...I...I'll see what I can do."

They looked at each other. Then Hope said softly:

„You know where to find me."

Remus smiled nervously.

„Yeah...Well, I really have to leave now."

Hope smiled weakly and opened the door for him.

„Goodbye, Remus."

„Goodbye, Hope."

They shared another smile and then Remus left. Her heard her close the door behind him. He didn't look back. His steps were large and fast. Remus had the feeling that this was the only way to escape from there...from her.

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**A/N:** Me again! If you are interested, I got the wolves' names from ancient mythologies! Freki and Geri were Odins wolves. Fenrir was also made by Odin and was the best friend of his son Tyr. Leviyah means 'female lion' in an african tongue, I think. But I'm not sure of that. I just heard the name and liked it. And I got the name Asena from a turkish legend. So, did you like it?


	2. The Play

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter or any creature that was created by J.K. Rowling! But I do own my six lovely wolves! ;)

**A/N: **I know, I know, I'm REALLY late! Sorry guys. But this was kind of difficult to write! I had some complications with the play...Thanks to Bine for giving the Lady of the Wolves her name and for motivating me to keep on writing! bussi Okay, enough talking! Enjoy! (hopefully)

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**The Play**

The 16th July was a bright summer day. Just perfect. Many people and families had come to watch the show. They were sitting on the stands, kids were running around, laughing and screaming. One of them, a young girl with blond hair in a cute pink dress, ran into a tall man. She looked up at him and wanted to apologise but the words wouldn't come out. She was too shocked to see the big scars on his face. Just as she considered screaming and running to her mum, the stranger smiled at her. Kindness shone through his blue eyes. The six-year-old smiled back and finally apologised. The man told her not to worry in a hoarse voice and she ran off.

Remus sighed. He still couldn't believe he was here. This was so wrong! It made absolutely no sense! Not at all! This whole situation just could lead nowhere! He was a wizard! A werwolf, damnit! There was a war coming up and he was here, in a park out of the city, waiting to watch a kind of outdoor-play! ...Waiting to see her!

Every night since their first meeting he had dreamed of her. Her beautiful black eyes and her bloody all knowing smile haunted him in dreams _and_ in his thoughts. He had caught himself too many times staring out of a window and thinking about her. He felt so foolish! He was a grown man who has survived a bloody war! And now he was behaving like an idiotic teenager!

But...he just had to see her again. Remus didn't know why but he just had to. But he had sworn himself that he would just watch the show and immediately leave as soon as it was over.

But first of all it had to start. Remus was sitting in the last row of the stand, so she wouldn't be able to see him and wouldn't be mad with him that he hadn't talked to her. Just as he was wondering why he bothered about this, an older man came up on the 'stage', which looked like a big clearing and was separated into two halves by a row of trees. On the left side were a few tents and a fireplace. In the background on the right side rose a platform made of stone from behind the trees. Remus guessed that the 'stage' had a size of 600 metres.

The older man held a microphone in his hands and welcome the people:

„Welcome, Ladies and Gentleman! My name is Howard McKneery and like every year I'm proud to present you another extraordinary event. This year, our very talented actors and actresses will tell you an ancient Native American tale about a princess, who found a new family in a pack of 6 beautiful wolves! She is played by Hope Brandish, who owns and also trained the wolves. So, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, follow us back in time to old America, before the white man claimed this land, and hear the story of princess Shianoe! Have fun everyone!"

McKneery's disappearing was accompanied by a big applause. Then a voice was heard:

„Mom, would you tell me the story again, please?"

„You're still not tired of hearing it?"

„No."

„Alright, but this is the last time! You won't bother me with it again!"

„Yes, mother!"

„Well then. A few years ago, there was war between us and the Navajos. It was terrible and both sides lost many good warriors. During this time, a Navajo mother fled from her clan, because she had born a child to one of our men. She travelled with her little daughter across the big mountains, what nearly took all her strength. As she tried to cross the Big Brother in her exhausted state, the strong waters of the river ripped the child out of the mothers hand and took it away from her. This was the punishment for traiting her people. Nearly dead, she reached our quarters. She told her lover what had happened and died. While the lover cried because of the death of his beloved woman, he heard a wolf howl. Angry, that the wolf disturbed his crying, the man hunted the wolf. When he found him, he also found his dead-thought daughter. But the wolf forbid him to take her home. He accused him to have failed in protecting her and that he wasn't worth it to be her father. The wolf marked her as his own and sent the man away. Before he left, the wolf warned him that he shouldn't dare to come back. Or else he and his pack would kill everyone of the man's people. So the man had no other choice and left. He never looked for his daughter again. But when the wolves cried at night, he always stepped outside and cried with them as long as he lived."

Silence. Then a little girl, who had black hair and wore a long, typical native American dress, sneaked out of one of the tents, looked around and finally ran into the woods. She reappeared on the right side. Her movement showed hesitance and a little fear. When she arrived the centre of the clearing, a howl was heard. The child shrieked and whirled around. And there he was. A big, strong, grey wolf. He paced towards her, his head bent down and his eyes fixed upon the little figure before him. The figure wanted to flee to the right, but another wolf was already there, waiting for her. Then she tried to flee to the left, but was blocked by a third wolf. The girl ran back to the centre and was looking around desperately. She looked like a little helpless rabbit. Even from his distant point Remus could see the child was shaking. As the wolves came closer, two other members came out of the forest. They destroyed every chance to escape. For a second, Remus held his breath. The pack was dangerously close now and you could hear their growls.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a loud whistle was heard. All the wolves froze in their movements.

As she came into view, Remus heart stopped beating and his mouth fell open. Her appearance was just breathtaking. She wore nothing but wolfskin around her upper and lower intimate parts and a red tattoo around her arm. The grey fur covered her breasts and hung lose in stripes down her stomach. Remus recognised that she had a big scar on her perfect shoulder, which looked like a bite-mark. Her most private parts were also covered by two long stripes. Most of her hip was visible. On the backside hung a tail.

Remus cheeks took a deep shade of red. He felt embarrassed. He only met her once before and had already seen more of her than of most other women. He cleared his throat and tried to focus. She had black hair, which was held together by a leather band. Her movement was as graceful as of the wolves. She held her head high and her face showed an expression of pure anger. Her voice was cold and hard as she spoke, so different from the one he knew.

„What are you doing here, child? This is not you're place! This is not you're world! Speak!"

The little girl shrieked again at Hope's angry commandment. Her voice was nearly a whisper:

„I...I was..."

„This is wolf's territory! Didn't your parents tell you that!"

„I...I was curious if it was true what they are telling about you...Will you eat me now?"

For a second it seemed as a smile was playing around Hope's lips. But then she grabbed the girls arm and pulled her roughly to her. They looked into each others eyes for a heartbeat. Then Hope sniffed at the girls arm.

„Ah...you smell nice!"

The girl's eyes got huge and pure fear was shown on her face. Hope smiled triumphantly and let go of her arm.

„You're lucky. I had a little boy for breakfast. I'm not hungry anymore...We will let you flee."

The girl smiled.

„But I will give you something to remember not to come back ever again!"

Hope slapped the girl. She stumbled back and held her cheek. As she put her hand away, you could see four bleeding stains on her soft skin. Some kids in the audience screamed.

„FLEE!"

Once again the child shrieked. Then she ran as fast as possible back to where she came from. Angry barking followed her on her way out of sight. Hope patted the wolf next to her.

„It's all right. We won't see her again. Let's go home." While the wolves were going into the forest on the right, Hope turned around to where the child had come from. She chuckled.

„She really thinks I eat children! Stupid girl!"

Just as she was to turn around, she stopped dead in her tracks and looked up...straight into Remus' eyes. His heart beat faster. They held each others gazes for what seemed eternity. Then she smiled this smile he hated and adored most and disappeared into the forest, too.

Remus had to tell his heart to beat slowly over and over again. He couldn't believe that she had seen him! This was impossible! But she looked straight into his eyes...While Remus wondered about this mysterious woman, the play went on.

When the girl arrived back home, she told her mother and a young man - with the same red tattoo as Hope's - what had happened. The young man, who's name was Shiano, went out to search her. It turned out later that he was a Navajo prince who had been sent out to find his bride, Shianoe of course. But she found him first. She was about to attack him from behind as she saw his tattoo. Then Shiano sensed her presence and they looked at each other. It was a very beautiful moment. The wind was softly rustling through the trees and Shianoe's hair waved around and soft music played in the background. They fell in love with each other at once. Deep, veeery deep down inside his head a little voice whispered:

„Just like you."

But Remus silenced this voice angrily and watched the play again. For a while they saw each other as lovers (What made Remus sick because they kissed each other passionately. He hoped that one of the wolves would bite him in his ass!). Shiano sent a message to his people that he had found his bride. He had decided to stay with her and the pack. The wolves liked him and played with him, to Remus dislike. All seemed perfect, until the Navajos arrived to free their king and their queen. They attacked the wolves. Suprisingly, the people of the little girl helped the pack. A war began. Remus was truly impressed how perfect the wolves interacted with the people. Everything seemed so real and dangerous. Remus admired Hope's skills. She ran, jumped and fought. Her body was strong and athletic.

During the fighting, the little girl, who became friends with Shianoe, died. Some children in the audience cried. Shianoe swore revenge and blinded by anger she went out to kill the leader of the Navajo's army. But she failed and got caught. Shiano and the wolves freed her. But this caused the death of one of the wolves. As Shianoe saw her friend die, her will to fight died with the wolf. In the centre of the battlefield, she said goodbye to her lover. She told him that this was not her place and her forest wasn't his. There was no place in this world where they could be together. In a moving scene, they separated (with another passionate kiss) and promised each other to reunite in another life.

When the play had ended, all the actors and the wolves came on stage. They got standing ovations and big applause, most of all the wolves and the little girl. Hope carried the child in her arms and kissed her cheek. Step by step, the rows of the stand emptied. Remus was on the bottom and thought about leaving. But then he saw her and met her eyes. She beamed at him and came towards him. His heart bet faster and he was frozen in place. While she was on her way, she removed her black wig and her golden hair shone in the sunlight. Remus swallowed hard. This, combined with her mostly naked body was hardly bearable.

„Remus! You've come!" She beamed at him.

He smiled. „Yeah. I've got my day off today...and I was around."

_Liar, liar, heart on fire! _

„So fate was on my side again."

„Just a coincidence" he teased.

She laughed.

„Nice tail, by the way!" _O Gosh, he didn't say that out loud, did he?_

For a second Hope looked shocked. _Yep, he DID say that out loud! She will run away any second!_

Than she giggled, grabbed her tail and swung it through the air.

„Oh, Remus! You know what women like to hear!"

They laughed together. Remus felt delighted. It was so easy to joke with her. He really missed this in his life. But he didn't want to have those dark thoughts when she was around. So he asked instead:

„Where are the other tail-waggers?"

Hope laughed again. She whistled through her teeth and shortly after that a loud bark was heard.

„They are still eating. This running around makes them hungry. George is feeding them."

„George?"

„Shiano."

„Oh." The lover boy...He didn't like him. Remus didn't say that, of course. But she smiled 'the smile' again.

„Did you enjoy the show?"

„Yes! It was great! It's amazing how you work with your wolves."

Now it was Hope's turn to blush.

„Thank you."

„HOPE!"

Remus and Hope turned around. George was running towards them. And behind him were the beasts. Their eyes were fixed upon Remus.

„Oh Oh. I think there are some puppies who want to say hello to you, Remus."

„Please save me!" Remus joked.

He stepped behind her, laid his hands on her bare shoulders and watched the wolves coming closer.

„Don't worry, Remus. I will always do."

She laid her hand over his and looked straight into his eyes.

Time froze.

Remus just saw her deep black eyes. This time she wasn't kidding. Through Hope's eyes shone honesty and...something he couldn't recognise. For a split second he thought he smelled the sea and felt this strange connection again. His grip around her shoulders got tighter and he unconciously pulled her body closer to his. When her back almost touched his chest and he could feel her heat enwrapping him, he felt...he couldn't describe it. It was...weired. He even couldn't tell if he liked that feeling. Unfortunately, he couldn't find out, cause a loud bark cut through the silence and the moment was destroyed. They separated as the wolves and George reached them. Hope made this gesture again and her animals stopped, although they were still excited. They wagged their tails enthusiastically and sniffed at Remus. He patted the wolves' heads and stroke their soft fur.

„I hope we aren't interrupting something."

„Shut it, George!"

George laid an arm around Hope's shoulders and grinned.

„The beasts are fed and ready for transporting. But I'm starving! And Kate and Tiana are, too."

Remus didn't get much of the conversation. He was completely focused on his arm...around HER shoulders. All his hopes, which he never would admit he had, broke into pieces. She had a boyfriend...A lover...He really didn't like him.

„Don't be such a baby, George. You have to fetch Richard first, anyway. So why don't you get the ladies and the dogs and load them into your bus? But first I'd like you to meet Remus Lupin. Remus, this is George O'Neil."

As they shook hands, George said:

„Ah, the wolfsman. Hope told me about your first meeting. The pack really seems to like you, Mr. Lupin."

„I think so. And it's Remus."

All the wolves were gathered around their relative and waited for him to stroke them again. Remus did as good as possible. George chuckled.

„I guess you have a rival as the alpha, Hope."

„Didn't you want to fetch Richard?"

George grinned again. He gave the woman in his arms a loud peck on the cheek.

„You're wish is my commandment, milady. It was nice to meet you, Remus."

„Nice to meet you, too."

They shook hands again.

„Come on, guys! Let's go get Kate and Tiana. See you at your place in half an hour, cutie."

All wolves, except Leviyah, left with George.

Hope shook her head smiling and turned to Remus again.

„He's kind of weird, just ignore him."

„He seems quite nice."

„He is. But he's also weird."

They smiled at each other. For a few moments none of them spoke a word. They just looked at each other while Leviyah looked from Hope to Remus and back again. She barked to get some attention. Hope looked down and patted her head.

„Well, I guess she wants to go home."

„Yeah, seems so."

„Don't you want to come with us? George, Richard, Kate and Tiana are coming to my place to cook dinner. This is kind of a tradition. It's always fun."

„I don't want to disturb."

„You wouldn't! It's just an evening with some friends. You'll like it."

„Well..."

„Please, Remus. I'd love to have you with us...with me tonight."

Remus blushed furiously. He wasn't used to exposed sympathy. Not towards himself. While he looked at the ground, Hope stepped closer to look into his eyes. She smiled shyly.

„Is this a yes?"

Leviyah barked and pushed his side.

Remus smiled at the female and stroke her behind her ear.

„You really want me there?"

She beamed at him and laid her hand in his.

„Definitely!"

Remus was lost. He was wax in her hands. He grinned like a stupid teenager.

They walked to Hope's car, holding hands. Hope let Leviyah on the back seat. While Remus climbed on the passenger's seat, Hope opened the trunk and put on some jeans. She threw the costume and the wig into the trunk and closed it. Then she climbed into the car as well. As Remus saw that she was only wearing the furry top, he couldn't help but say sadly:

„I will miss that tail."

Hope laughed and started the engine.

„You'll get over it, Remus."

„Come in."

Hope threw her stuff on the chair next to the door and went to the living room to let Leviyah outside.

„Would you help me with the table?"

Remus and Hope carried the table in the kitchen into the living room. Then they enlarged it so that six people could sit at it. Hope covered it with a white tablecloth. At last they carried the chairs into the living room.

„That will do it. I hope you like pasta, Remus."

„I do."

„Great! Can you cook it?"

„Ahem..."

Hope laughed.

„It's okay. We will do it together. It's going to be fun."

Loud barking sounded through the windows and shortly after the doorbell rang.

„Perfect timing!"

Remus followed her to the door. He was a little nervous. He hoped that George wouldn't get the situation wrong an get jealous. Remus chuckled at that thought. As if HE could ever be the reason of jealousy!

Hope opened the door and was pushed aside by Freki and the others. They ran into to living room and outside. Then the human guests entered the house. First came a woman who turned out to be Kate. After her came her daughter Tiara, who had played the little girl. Remus was surprised that she truly had black hair. Later that evening Kate told Remus that her husband was a native American who she had met in her year studying in the united states. Then George entered.

„Hey, Remus. Long time no see!"

„Hello again."

While Remus and George had their little chat, Richard entered.

„Hello Hope, darling!"

„Richard! Nice to see you!"

Hope greeted him with a kiss on the lips. Remus mouth fell open for a second. He didn't understand. WHO was her boyfriend now?

George went over to Richard and introduced them.

„Remus Lupin, this is Richard Croft."

„Hello", Remus said.

Richard let his eyes wander up and down his body.

„Ooh, hello there" he said in a what Remus thought to be a seductive voice. Before he could reply something, George punched Richard's shoulder.

„Hey! I'm standing right next to you!"

Richard grinned and put his arms around George's hip.

„I was just checking if I am still able to make you jealous."

„Well, obviously. You're still my femme fatale!"

George and Richard shared a sweet kiss.

Remus felt so light hearted he wanted to scream. They were gay!

„Come on, ladies! Let's cook! I'm starving."

Hope pushed the two men into the kitchen and winked at Remus.

* * *

**A/N:** And? What do you think? Like it? Hate it? Many mistakes? PLEASE let me know what you think! 

P.S.: Are there only two people who read the first chapter? (I want to jump off a bridge!Cry:-(


	3. Circle of friends

**A/N: **Here it is, the next chappi! I hope you like it! And thanxs for the reviews. That really saved me from jumping off that bridge:) Enjoy and please let me know what you think!

* * *

**Circle of friends**

Remus followed Hope and the gentlemen into the kitchen. Kate had already put a pot on the stove and the water was boiling. Tiana was on the cupboard, fetching the pasta out of the closet.

"Okay, guys. I just change into something less furry. I be right back."

"May I come with you, Hope?"

Tiana climbed down the cupboard and looked at Hope with her puppy eyes. Hope smiled.

"Sure, cutie! How could anyone resist such eyes?"

"I can!" Kate said.

Hope laughed and went after Tiana, who was already running up the stairs. As Hope left, she winked at Remus again, beaming. Now that Remus was alone with Hope's friends, he started to feel awkward. He didn't knew these people! Well, he hardly knew her...

"Hey, Remus, would you like to help me with the plates?"

George was standing in front of him, holding six plates in his hands.

"Yes, sure."

"Great!"

George gave him the porcelain. They went into the living room and started to set the table. Suddenly, Remus heard a loud _clunk_ coming from upstairs. Then another one. And one more _clunk_. The _clunks_ followed in a quick rhythm. As Richard entered the kitchen, he recognised the sound and sighed.

„Their doing it again."

„Sure. You know Hope. She probably talked Tiana into it."

„Into what?" asked Remus.

„Jumping on the bed. It's kind of a tradition between them."

„Until she falls off."

Just after Richard had said this, a loud _rumble_ was heard.

George laughed.

„Wow, that was at commandment! You're getting better and better!"

Richard grinned. While Remus was wondering about the two guys, Tiana came running down the stairs.

„George! I've won again!"

„You always do, honey!"

„She does not!"

Hope appeared in the living room, limping and rubbing her backside. Everyone, even Kate in the kitchen, laughed. Remus couldn't suppress a smile, either.

„Thank you very much for all your sympathy! I thought that at least you would feel pity for me, Remus! But you are no better than them!"

Remus' smile faded and he started to feel guilty. But then George put his arm around his shoulders.

„Well, it seems that our friend here isn't blinded by your lovely appearance. Good man!"

Blinded? No, he wasn't blinded by her appearance. He just was completely fascinated to her mysterious black eyes and her oh so lovely smile...

„Hey, do you wanna fight or do you want to help me here?" Kate shouted.

„Of course we want to help, Katie!" Hope answered. She stuck her tongue out at George, took Remus hand and led him into the kitchen. Remus tried to ignore the tickling in his hand. He was definitely too old for such feelings.

Chaos reigned the kitchen. Five people were working in there. Tiana was outside playing with the wolves. Remus cut the tomatoes into little pieces, pressed next to him was Hope, taking care of the mushrooms, George cut the paprika and Richard had been condemned to cut the onions while Kate was roasting the meat. Remus' heart always beat faster when Hope's arm or hip touched his body. Every time they collided, Remus excused and every time Hope told him with a smile not to worry.

Remus couldn't say that he disliked the situation. He liked being close to Hope, feeling her warmth and her soft skin. Mostly he liked that Hope didn't jumped back when they touched. But of course she just didn't do so because she didn't know about his 'condition'.

For the first time in a long while, Remus hated is 'illness'. He thought he had accepted lycanthropy, but since he had met her, he wanted to be healthy! He wanted to be normal! He wanted to be free! For her...

„Hey, there! It's crowded enough in here! Put those dark thoughts away."

Remus got goosebumps as he felt her breath so close to his ear. He looked into her friendly eyes and at once his heart felt lighter.

„How do you know what I'm thinking about?" he asked with a whispering voice.

She smiled at him. „I can see it in your eyes, Remus...And you slaughtered the poor tomato!"

Remus looked down at his hands. The tomato was reduced to a heap of red mush.

„Oh, I'm sorry!"

Hope laughed and leaned against him.

„It's all right. Better the tomato than me!"

„Hey, you turtledoves! Are you done?"

„Yes, Kate!"

Hope gave the brown-haired woman the mushrooms and the tomatoes. Then she turned back to Remus.

„Would you like to come with me and choose a whine?"

„Sure."

„Great."

As they were walking out of the kitchen, Remus heard Richard say:

„She lets HIM choose the whine? Wow, she must really like him!"

„You have no idea." George answered.

Remus couldn't wipe the stupid grin off his face until they reached the cellar.

„Choose one."  
While Remus was going through the three small whine shelves, he felt Hopes eyes on him. She pretended to look for a bottle of whine, too, but he knew better. He knew because his eyes wandered to her, too. To her hair, which shone like pure gold in the weak light of the cellar. To her red full lips, which looked...delicious. And to her deep black eyes, which he knew somehow...

„Do you feel comfortable, Remus?"

Remus cleared his throat and focused again.

„Yes. You're friends are very nice. And little Tiana is just lovely."

„Yeah, she's an angel! Most times!"

„Just like you", Remus thought.

„They like you, too, Remus."

„Are you sure?"

„Yes."

Suddenly, Remus common insecurity took over:

„Why?"

„Cause I like you."

Remus swallowed hard. Why was it suddenly so hot in here?

„Why?" he asked again, blushing. He really had to think before he spoke, or he would always make a fool of himself, just like now.

But instead of laughing at him, Hope did something that made his heart beat faster:

Her eyes took a strange expression. Remus wasn't experienced enough to recognise it as deep longing. She placed a hand softly on his cheek and time froze again. For a split second, Remus thought he heard a fire cracking and saw her hair moving in a non-existing wind. Her voice seemed far away as she spoke.

„You will understand when time has come, Remus."

For a few heartbeats they drowned in each others eyes. Then Hope sighed and let her hand drop to her side. And the moment was gone...

She looked sad and Remus was wondering why. To banish the awkward silence, he pulled out one of the bottles.

„How about this one?"

Hope shrieked out of her thoughts.

„Yes! That's a good choice! Let's go back to the others."

„All right."

As they reached the living room, Remus had to smile at what he saw: Richard danced with Tiana around the living room and was singing grotesquely out of tune to the „Queen"-song „Bicycle race". Remus liked „Queen". It was the only wizards-band who ever had success- or even tried to have success- in the muggle world.

Hope sighed, than smiled at Remus.

„I told you it would be fun."

Remus smiled back at her.

She gave Remus her bottle and asked him to open it up, while she went into the kitchen to help Kate. Remus did as he was told and then watched Richard and the little girl again. Richard sang the text to „Killer-Queen" now. And he was enjoying himself. As did Tiana, who was jumping up and down and could just hardly breath because she was laughing so hard. Remus couldn't help but laugh, too. It was just then when Hope and Kate entered the room, bringing the spaghetti and the sauce. George followed with a basket filled with bread.

„Richard, turn the music down and take a seat. And Tiana, go wash your hands" Kate said.

„Hey, why musn't Richard wash his hands?"

„Because he wasn't outside."

„But he touched my hands!"

Kate sighed. Remus was impressed by Tianas quick mind. To prevent further discussions, Richard went into the kitchen with Kate's daughter and washed his hands, too.

Dinner was quite uneventful. The pasta was excellent and the whine was delicious. There were many conversations and Remus was never left out. All of Hopes friends seemed interested in his opinion. He felt as a part of the groups. He was happy.

There was much laughing, too. For example, as Hope dripped some sauce on her top and tried to clean it without letting anyone see it. But Tiana did, giggled and said:

„Mum, Hope has a stain on her top!"

Hope glared at her little friend.

„Traitor!"

Both the girls stuck their tongue out. But then Hope winked at Tiana, and the girl smiled.

„Is Leviyah pregnant already, Hope?" Kate asked while wiping away the stain on Hopes top. Hope shook her head.

„No, unfortunately not. She wasn't in heat this month yet."

„How long are you trying it now?"

„About seven months."

„Is this a long time? Have you checked her? Maybe there's something wrong with her. Or with Fenrir."

„They are both alright. I guess Fenrir just wasn't...eager enough yet."

Everyone laughed.

„What about Mr. Lembach?" Richard asked, „Is he impatient already?"

„No, Mr. Lembach is very understanding."

„Who is Mr. Lembach?" Remus asked.

„He's a German biologist and he's trying to bring back the wolves to Germany. They nearly died out there. I brought him three sons of Lupa already. And Mr. Lembach cares really good for them. He loves these creatures just as much as I do."

„So you sell him the wolves?"

„No! I could never do that! They are creatures and not things! And Mr. Lembach sees it the same way. He's always very grateful when I bring him one of my babies. He always carries it too far."

„He fancies her!" George said grinning.

„He does not!" Hope said.

„You should see the looks he gives her!"

„George! He is maried and father of two children! Stop it!"

„Cow!"

„Homo!"

Everyone laughed except Remus and Tiana. The girl looked at Remus questioningly. He just shrugged his shoulders, smiling.

Remus and Hope were in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. They did in silence. But it wasn't one of those awkward silences, where you're looking at the ground and thinking desperately about what to say. It was a pleasant silence, where one enjoys the presence of the other. Sometimes they looked at each other when Hope gave him a cleaned plate. They smiled when their hands touched accidentally.

„It was a very nice evening, Hope."

„I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight, Remus. I hope my friends aren't too crazy for you."  
„No, they're wonderful. And funny."

„Yes, they are. I love them. Friends are very important in life."

„Yes" Remus said with a low vice. He hadn't much friends. Of course he had many colleagues, who respected and accepted him, but he didn't see them as friends. Only Sirius was left from his old friends at school. But Sirius had his own problems at the moment and wasn't easy to talk to. Just as he was starting to drown in these dark thoughts again, Hope pushed his side.

"It's not important that you have many friends, Remus. It's just important that you have friends you can count on. And that they love you just as you are and for who you are."

"You're right, Hope" he smiled.

He knew that he could trust Sirius with his life. And that he loved him, even his inner werwolf.

"'Course I am. I have wisdom beyond my years." She grinned and rubbed Remus' back.

"Wisdom beyond your years? Wasn't it you who jumped on her bed a few hours ago like a little child?"

"Who asked you, George? And why are you pester us all the time?"

George, who was standing in the doorway, entered the kitchen, pulled his arm around Hopes shoulder and pressed her against him.

"Someone has to protect Remus, before you pounce at him."

Hope blushed furiously and punched George hard into the ribs.

"You're so bad, George! Why do you have to embarass me all the time?"

"'Cause I love you, honey!"

"Then stop loving me!"

"Never ever, cutie!" George kissed Hopes forehead and let go of her. He slapped Remus' back and left again.

Now there was an awkward silence. Hope was still red in her face and looked at her shoes. Remus cheeks felt hot, too. He didn't know what to say. Or what to do. Well, he had an idea what he _could_ do, but that made his cheeks feel even hotter...

Hope cleared her throat, grabbed the plates and put them into the cupboard.

"I'm sorry, Remus."

"About what?"

"You know...if you feel...pressed...or forced...you don't have to be with me, if you don't want to...I mean...you know."

As he looked in her eyes, which shone with insecurity and fear, he did something which was very untypical for him:

He placed a hand over hers and stroke it gently with his thumb. He wasn't even aware he was doing it.

"Hope, I would lie if I would say that your behaviour is quite...surprising. I'm not used to this kind of...attention. Especially not from young beautiful women", Remus and Hope both turned red by those words, "but I...well...I'm quite honored you're interested in me."

They shared another look, where Remus could see hope rising in her eyes. She wore a soft smile on her lips and again he drowned in the dephts of her eyes. Without knowing, he drifted closer to her, between her legs. His arms laid on her back and one of his hands wandered into her silky hair. Hope's face was so close to Remus' that he could feel her hot breath on his chin. He could feel her heartbeat. And, mysteriously enough, his heart was beating in the same rhythm. And for one magic second, he understood. He understood her knowing smile, all the things she was trying to tell him, why she felt so familiar to him...

"Wow! Who is pouncing who here?"

Remus and Hope jumped at the same time. Richard and George were standing in the doorway, grinning like complete jerks. Well, actually Remus felt like a complete at the moment. He jumped at least two feet away from Hope. And his head felt hotter than any tea kettle he had ever touched. Surprisingly, as he looked at Hope, her cheeks weren't red at all. She smiled brighter than ever and climbed down the cupboard. She just looked at him with sparkling eyes. But Remus was too embarrased at the moment to keep the feelings he had a minute ago. He just wanted to get out of there. This had been enough huminilation for one evening.

"Well, it's late. I better get going."

"Hey! We were just kidding. You don't have to leave. Just ignore us. We're like this all the time." Richard really seemed to feel sorry about his comment.

"It's okay. It was a nice evening, but I really have to go. A friend of mine is surely waiting for me."

"I lead you to the door then."

Hope glared at Richard and George.

"It was very nice to meet you, guys."

"It was nice to meet you, too, Remus" Richard said and shook his hand.

"You're sure you're not mad with us?" George asked while shaking Remus' hand.

"I'm sure. Good bye, George" Remus said, smiling. His cheeks still felt warm.

He went into the living room and said goodbye to Kate and Tiana, who was lying on the couch, nearly sleeping.

Then he went to the door, where Hope was waiting for him. She smiled.

"It was nice to have you here, Remus."

"Thanks for dinner."

"Anytime. I hope you had some fun tonight. Besides the huminilation."

Remus laughed. "I had."

"Good."

They smiled at each other.

Remus was thinking about what to say. Should he ask her for a date? Although it was surely not a good idea, because of this whole wizard/werwolf-stuff. But wouldn't it be rude to say nothing at all?

Hope must have read his thoughts again, because she smiled this 'I-know-your-fate-smile' again, wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear:

"Let fate decide, Remus."

He looked into her eyes.

"You're really into this fate-thing, aren't you?"

Hope laughed soflty.

"Yes. And you will be, too."

Remus looked at her questioningly. But she wouldn't answer his silent question. Instead she let her hand stroke his brown-grey hair.

"See you soon, Remus."

Remus smiled, althouh he was a little frightened at her confidence.

"See you, Hope."

And with that he left, scared that he would never see her again.


	4. Get it on!

**A/N: **Hi! First of all: I'm SOOOO sorry about the whole whine...eh...wine-affair! This is really embarrassing! Thanks for telling me! This won't ever happen again! At least I can say that I'm not a professional when it comes to alcohol! ggg I would like to have a beta-reader, but unfortunately my friends don't fancy the wonderful english language as much as I do...Any volunteers? ;) Anyway, I hope you like the next chap. It's short, I know. Hope you like it anyway. I do. Talk between friends...well, read yourself!

**Get it on!**

Remus was sitting in his room and was looking outside the window. The sky was grey and it was raining. The weather really fitted his mood.

Three weeks had passed since he saw her. In flesh in blood. But he had dreams about her. Or should he say nightmares? Because the worst of them really troubled him:

He was on the grounds of Hogwarts at night. Everywhere were big fires lit. All the people he knew where dancing around the fireplaces, having fun. Just as Remus wanted to join them, the sky cleared and the moon showed his full face. While Remus was wondering why he wasn't transforming, a figure appeared with the light. It walked along the shore of the lake, its face upwards, towards the moon. While the figure made its elegant, trance-like steps, the light of the moon seemed to follow it and made it glow mysteriously. As Remus came closer, he recognised the figure as a woman. She wore a light blue cotton dress with long sleeves. Her hair fell over her shoulders down her back and was black as the night itself. Although she had the wrong hair colour and was smaller than the Hope he knew, he recognised her. He ran towards her, shouting her name. He suddenly paniced. He felt that she was in danger. The 'awake-Remus' was wondering why he had felt that, cause she was just wandering around the lake, watching the moon. However, in his dream Remus ran so fast that his lungs burned to reach her, shouting her name over and over again. But she didn't react. Her eyes were fixed on the glooming ball. Then came the worst part, where he always shrieked out of this...yeah, nightmare: He finally reached her and reached his hand out to her. But as he was nearly touching her, she screamed, screamed so painfully like Remus had never heard someone scream before. The sound filled his head and exploded there. He could still hear this scream in his head after he woke up with a start, so full of deadly pain.

Remus knew that he was the reason for her screaming. His hand had burnt her. Or it had done something else.

He had hurt her.

This thought filled Remus head and stayed there.

_He_ had hurt her.

_He _was the reason for her suffering.

_He_ was the reason for her death...

Remus didn't know where this thought had come from, but he knew it was true. He had killed her...

"But she is alive! I can't have killed her! This is ridiculous!"

_I killed her..._

"Hey, Moony! Molly called you three times already to come to dinner! What's wrong, mate?"

Remus winced and turned around. Sirius was leaning in the doorway, a questioning look on his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear her. Please tell her I'm not hungry."

Sirius had come into the room and was looking at him with concern.  
"Is everything allright, Remus?"

"Sure."

Sirius didn't look convinced.

"Okay, Moony. Do I have to remind you that I'm your friend and that I know - and I always have - when something's wrong with you?"

Remus sighed. Sirius was right. He had always known when Remus felt bad about something. Whether it had been his furry problem, girls or school...he had known.

And Remus felt like he really needed to talk about Hope. And, although Sirius was an arrogant prat sometimes, he always listened.

"Well, actually I'm...worried. And confused."

Sirius let himself fall on the bed and looked at him expectantly.

"Tell me. I've got plenty of time" he said with sarcasm in his voice.

Remus sighed again.

"Well, I met a woman" he started.

Sirius' face brightened.

"Great! About time, old friend! You're not getting younger, you know?"

"Thanks" Remus said through gritted teeth.

"How is she? What does she look like? Is she pretty? Long legs? Big.."

"May I go on?" Remus asked loudly before Sirius could finish his sentence.

"Sure."

"Well, first of all, she's a muggle."

"And you don't know how to tell her what you are?"

"No...Yes...Could you please stop interrupting me?"

"Sorry" Sirius grinned. He obviously was amused about Remus' dilemma. Suddenly, Remus wasn't so sure if it was a good idea to talk to him about his problem.

"I promise, I won't interrupt anymore, Remus" Sirius said, as if he could read Remus thoughts.

"Fine."

Remus told Sirius everything about Hope, her wolves, their meetings and the strange feelings - or visions - he had when he was close to her. He told him about that feeling of familiarity and these awkwards comments she did. But, without knowing why, he didn't tell him about the nightmare...

Sirius listened carefully to his words and didn't interrupt him anymore. Remus was grateful for that, cause it seemed even more strange to him when he spoke about it.

"I know her, Sirius. Somehow..." Remus finished.

"Are you sure she is a muggle? Maybe she's a witch. Maybe you know her from Hogwarts" Sirius said.

Remus thought about this. Was he totally sure, that she wasn't a witch? Yes. But was he sure, that she hadn't something magical in her?

No.

"I'm sure she isn't a witch. I don't know her face. I just know her...eyes...I know it's weird. I don't understand it either."

Sirius thought about that.

"Maybe she's a seer."

Remus shook his head. "No. I...don't think so...But it's possible that there is magic in her."

Both of the men thought of any possible magic creature. But they didn't find something that could be her.

"Just tell her", he said after a few minutes silence.

"Tell her what?"

"Tell her what you are. Maybe she's just waiting for you to take the first step."

"But what if my mind just made these feelings, or visions, or whatever they are, up and she is a muggle? It's not easy to handle the information that the world you know is not what it seems...Not to mention the werwolf-thing."

Sirius stood up and put an arm around his shoulders. His voice was soft and serious:

"If she really loves you, she'll accept it."

"Great!"

Remus shrugged off Sirius arm and looked out of the window again. Sirius made a sound of annoyance.

"Remus! Stop thinking no one will ever love you! After what you told me about her, she already **is** in love with you. You just have to get a grip and get it on!"

Remus laughed bitterly. _Get it on? Oh yeah, that sounds easy!_

Suddenly Sirius grapped his arm, whirled him around and looked straight into his eyes.

"Do you love that woman?"

"What?"

"You heard me! Dou you love her?"

He had heard him. This question wasn't meant for him, but for the little voice in Remus head - or was it in his heart - which answered Sirius question at once with a gentle _yes_. The word echoed through his body. He loved her...

He couldn't love her! He didn't know her, damnit! She could be totally nuts! A loony, who lost her mind and thought she was the alpha of a pack of wolves!

Or she could be a professional killer! At least this would explain why she could afford a house and six wolves!

"You haven't answered my question, Moony."

"I don't know her."

"I didn't ask if you know her, idiot! I asked you if you _love_ her! You know what love is, don't you?"

"Who knows what love is?"

Sirius looked as if he would strangle him any moment.

"Do you think about her? Do you dream about her? Do you feel lonely when she's not around? Do you feel complete when she is? Do you want to touch her, take her in your arms and never let go? Do you want to snog her senseless?"

This damn new voice in his heart answered to every question, without his permission, with a _yes_. Remus looked helplessly at his best friend.

"How can this be, Sirius? I hardly know her."

"Love doesn't know whether time nor place, Remus."

Sirius had put an comforting arm around his shoulders again. Remus knew Sirius was right. He was in love...

"Hey, since when are you so wise, Sirius?"

"I've always been in matters of love, Moony. I might remind you that I've lived quite an...exciting life, before this whole Azkaban-thing happened."

Remus chuckled.

"Yeah, I definitly remember _that_ time! I remember the time when you went out with twins and the poor girls had no idea they were dating the same guy."

Sirius grinned and for a second his eyes got a far away expression.

"Damn, I was good!"

Both the men laughed.

"Now tell me, Moony. What does she look like?"


	5. Matchmaker

**A/N:** Hi! Another chappi ready. Well, you guys are really impatient! XD But I take it as a compliment. Though I want to remind you that this isn't so easy for me, cause english isn't my mother tongue. So it takes a while, cause I have to look up the word I don't know. However, I hope you like it. I just had to do another chap with Sirius. He's the man! wink Hve fun and tell me if you like it

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**Matchmaker**

"Remus! Have you seen Sirius?"

Tonks had opened the door and was looking at her friend. Remus looked up from the book he was reading.

"Isn't he with Buckbeat?"

Tonks shook her head. "This is were I looked first. No sign of him in the entire house. You were my last hope."

Remus got a little concerned now. Hestood up from his chair and went down into the kitchen. Tonks followed him. Kreacher was there.

"Kreacher, have you seen Sirius?"

"Of course Kreacher has seen this shame! He sees him every day! Bad enough! Never leavesKreacher alone with his mistress!"

It was always stressing to talk to the little houseelf.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Kreacher doesn't need to tell you anything! You're not Kreacher's master, you unworthy halfblood creature!"

"Please, Kreacher!"

"NO! Kreacher is happy that the master has gone and hopes the deatheaters will get him and give the traitor what he deserves! So Kreacher and the mistress can be together again!"

"He's gone?" Tonks and Remus shouted. Kreacher winced and wanted to flee. But Tonks was faster and grabbed him by his clothing.

"Kreacher! Where did he go?"

The houseelf said nothing.

"Didn't Sirius tell you to tell us where he went?"

Now Kreacher froze. Then his eyes glowed with rage. His voice was an angry whisper, when he spoke:

"He said he would go and search the beast's girlfriend...Now letKreacher go!"

Tonks let go of him. Kreacher ran up the stairs and disappeared.

"You have a girlfriend?" Tonks smiled mischeviously. Remus flushed a little.

"Well, she isn't my girlfriend..."

"But you want her to be, eh?" Tonks grinned.

Remus cleared his throat.

"Could we focus, please? Sirius is out there, risking his life for nothing!"

"I'm sorry, Remus. Let's go and get him!"

First the duo went to Hope's house. But only the wolves where there to great them. So Remus and Tonks separated and searched in whole Muggle London for Sirius. Hours had passed when Remus spotted him in a muggle café. He was sitting at a table next to the window. Next to the window! All that was missing was a sign around his neck which said "Come and get me, deatheaters"!

"I'm going to kill him!" Remus thought.

He went around the corner to the entrance. He went straight to Sirius' table and built up in front of him.

"What do you think you're doing, you jerk!"

Sirius grinned.

"Hello, Remus!"

"Are you fucking nuts? They are out there, looking for you!"

"Calm down, mate. I'm fine. Just doing you a favor!"

"What? Kill yourself? I admit, I feel like hurting you right now, but I had this feeling many, many times before and never gave into it. And I won't. So stop this nonsense and lets go home!"

"Home? You didn't even say hello to me, Remus!"

Remus spun around. There she was. Hope Brandish. Lady of the wolves. Lady of his heart.

While his heart beat faster, Hope was smiling at him and giving Sirius a cup of coffee. She put the other cup she had carried in front of her as she sat down.

"Hello, Hope. N...Nice to see you again...Quite surprisingly."

Remus was nervous. He just had realized what he felt for her and, if he was true, not ready to face her.

"Sit down" she said and patted the leather next to her.

Remus did as he was told.

"Told you we would meet again" she said softly, leaning into him and smiling lovely. Remus swallowed hard. She had such wonderful lips...

"Yes, you did."  
"Do you believe now?"

"This meeting isn't destiny."

"Right! It's Sirius!" Sirius said.

Both Remus and Hope looked at him. They seemed to be confused for a second. They had completely forgotten about him. Sirius grinned at Remus knowingly.

"Yeah" Remus said.

Hope sighed. "See? I told you he won't believe it."

"Don't worry. Remus has always been the 'down-to-earth-type'. He wouldn't believe in magic even if you would do it right in front of his eyes."

Remus gave Sirius a warning look. What did he tell her?

"You two have talked about me?"

"Well, we just had a little chat. About...stuff" Hope said, winking at Sirius. He nodded, still this stupid grin on his face.

"What stuff?" Remus felt panic rise inside of him. He wouldn't have told her, would he? No. Sirius was his friend. He would never do this to him. And if he had told her, she surely wouldn't sit right next to him, pressing her upper leg against him.

Hope was sipping her coffee, while Sirius spoke:

"Nothing to worry about, mate! I'd never tell her that you eat dozens of icecubes in the middle of the night."

Hope chuckled and looked at Remus.

"You do that?"

Remus cheeks felt hot.

"Well...I like the crunching sound of it." Remus was sure that this was some wolfish stuff. The compensation of not being able to eat bones...

Remus glared at Sirius, who just was looking at him questioningly, though grinning. Hope laughed and laid a comforting hand over his.

"It's okay...I eat tomatoes with chocolate, sometimes."

Remus and Sirius grimaced on that.

"I know, it's disgusting. But sometimes I just need it."

"Needs. Tell me about it" Sirius said.

While Hope and Sirius chatted about their cravings, Remus hardly listened. He was too distracted by Hope's thumb, which was gently stroking the back of his hand. He looked at her, but she didn't seem to notice what she was doing. And what an effect it had on him. With every circle she made, chills ran up and down his spine. He liked it, though. Her touch was soft, calming and comforting somehow. He wanted nothing more than to take her hand in his, playing with her fingers and kiss her palm, making his way up to her arm, to her neck, to her seductive lips...

"Remus?"

Remus startled from his thoughts. Hope was looking at him.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"If you want me to get you a cup of coffee."

"I can get it myself."

He stood up. Hope followed him and pushed him back down on the bench.

"I get it. Just sugar?"

Remus was surprised.

"Yes. How do you know?"

Hope winked. "Just a shot into the blue!"

When Hope was out of reach, Remus looked at Sirius:

"What did you tell her?"

"Easy, Remus. I didn't tell her that you are a wizard. Or a werwolf. Or that you are madly in love with her."

Remus was relieved.

"Remus, you're a lucky man!"

"Why?" he said irritated.

"Don't you see it?"

Remus just looked at him blankly.

"You really are an idiot sometimes!"

"Come to the point, Sirius."  
"Hope Brandish is in love!"

"With whom?"

Sirius slapped his head. He gestured exaggerately as he spoke:

"She..." (he pointed at Hope, who was ordering the coffee) "is madly..." (he rotated his finger next to his head, which was the international loony sign) "in love..." (he put his hands over his heart and sighed) "with YOU!" (he pointed at Remus).

Remus couldn't help himself but chuckle at Sirius' behaviour.

"What makes you think that?"

"The way she looks at you, fellow. And I saw the thing she did with her thumb. Believe a guy who knows when women are in love. She is helplessly in love with you, Moony."

Remus smiled and looked over to Hope, who was waiting for Remus' coffee.

"That would be too good to be true. She is so beautiful..."

"Yeah, she is. Like a fairy."

Remus laughed. "I thought that, too, when I met her for the first time."

Sirius let his eyes wander across her body.

"Damn, if I just had met her first!"

"Hey!"

"Just kidding. Believe me, no one is happier for you than me, old friend. It's about time youget a nice shag!"

"Sirius! Stop it!" Remus head was as as red as a tomato. Sirius just laughed.

"Here's your coffee, Remus." Hope was back and sat down next to Remus.

"Thank you, Hope."

They smiled at each other.

"What did you talk about?"

"Nothing!" said Remus before Sirius could answer. But he did it anyway.

"About you, of course."

"Oh...I hope something nice."

"Naturally."

Hope smiled. Then she said to Remus.

"Your friend is a ladies' man, eh?"

"Yes" he answered.

"What about you?" Hope asked, her cheeks a shade of red.

"Well..."

"He still waits for true love" Sirius assisted. Remus wished he was somewhere else.

"Don't we all wait for that?" Hope looked deeply into Remus eyes. And for the first time Remus recognized it as longing. He tried to answer with his own eyes. As a smile spread across Hopes face, he knew she had understood.

"I do not", Sirius said. Hope looked at him.

"I don't believe you, Sirius. You just haven't found your soulmate yet."

"You believe in soulmates?"

Hope laughed. "I know, it's rare thing in this world, where every third marriage gets divorced."

"So why do you do, then?"

Hope just looked at Remus. His heart stopped beating. Soulmates...

Suddenly Remus was startled by a shrill sound. Hope reached into her purse and pulled out a mobile. She looked at the display and sighed.

"It's Mr. Lembach. Excuse me."

She pushed the button and said:

"Guten Tag, Herr Lembach." ... "Mir geht es gut. Und Ihnen?"

Hope stood and walked intoa corner. She smiled as she talked in german.

"Wow, a woman with many talents. I wonder what other talents she has...Do you think she's flexible?"

"Oh, Sirius, get a grip!"

Sirius just grinned again. Then he said:

"So...Soulmates, eh?"

Remus looked over to Hope, with her golden hair, her lovely smile and her deep black eyes. Soulmates...If he would just believe in this.

"I don't know."

"You don't believe in this, right?"

Remus looked thoughtfully at his hands.

"If you would have asked me this two months ago, I would have said 'no' without hesitation. But since I met her...she is the first woman, where I'm not nervous - well, not that nervous - and who I feel comfortable with. And all these 'visions' - or whatever they are - I have when we are close. I feel like...something inside of me wants to tell me something...About Hope...About myself. I don't know, Sirius."

"Obviously she thinks you are her soulmate. Why don't you ask her about his stuff?"

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

Remus cleared his throat. "I...have dreams...well, just one. But it comes to me over and over again. And in this dream I...I...I kill her, Sirius."

"That's not good."

"Yeah."

Sirius wanted to say something more, but Hope came back to them.

"Ich werde sie sofort anrufen, sobald Leviyah schwanger ist, Herr Lembach."..."Danke, wünsche ich Ihnen auch. Bis bald, hoffe ich."

Hope hung up and sat down next to Remus again.

"I'm sorry, guys. Mr. Lembach still waits for Leviyah to get pregnant...I guess he would do it himself if he could."

Sirius laughed, butRemus just smiled. Hope recognized the change in Remus' mood at once. She laid a hand on his arm and asked:

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

Remus put his hand over hers and said with a gentle voice: "It's okay." Hope nodded and smiled comfortingly at him. Remus smiled back. Suddenly he remembered: Tonks!

"Shit!"

"What?" Sirius and Hope asked.

"Tonks! She was looking for you, too! Oh no, she will kill me! And you!"

Sirius sighed. "Well, I guess we have no other choice. She can be like my mother when she's really mad!"

"So you have to go. I don't want you guys to get hurt", Hope said rising from her seat. The men stood up, too. They stepped outside. Sirius turned around to Hope, took her hand in his and placed a soft kiss on it.

"It was a great pleasure for me to meet you, Hope Brandish."

"My pleasure, Sirius Black", Hope said shyly. "You really are a ladies' man!"

Sirius winked, then stepped backand waited for his friend.

Remus looked at Hope. She looked up to him, smiling sadly.

"It's time to say goodbye again."

"Yes." Suddenly Remus felt very sad.

"Will you come visit me? When you have time, of course."

"Yes" he said before he knew he did.

Hope's eyes brightened. Slowly, she stepped closer and put her arms around his neck. Automatically, Remus laid his hands on her back. As they hugged, Hope whispered desperately in his ear: "Please, Remus. Listen. Please!"

Before he could ask her what she meant, she pulled away.

"Goodbye, guys."

"Bye, Hope." Sirius said and turned around to go. Remus looked at Hope once more and then followed his best friend.

Remus and Sirius just arrived at Grimmauld Place, when the front door burst open and a mad Tonks appeared in the doorway.

"YOU!"

Remus and Sirius sighed as the portrait of Sirius' mother started to scream. THIS was going to be fun.

But it had been worth it, Remus thought and smiled as Tonks exploded...

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**A/N:** I hope you're not mad with me for bringing German into this story, although just pieces of it! smile I guess there will be three or four more chapters. And be patient, pleeeaaaseee! ;) By the way, does anyone have a clue what Hope is? I know, I didn't give much hints. I just didn't want to give it away so easily. cu


	6. Getting closer

**A/N:** Hello everybody. I finally have finished another one. Sorry it took so long again. Anyway, I hope you like it. Thanks for all the motivating reviews! Big hug to everyone of you:)

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**Getting closer**

A sharp pain rushed through Remus' body. He shut his eyes and breathed deeply until it was over. He knew this pain. It was about to begin. He checked the magical lockings he had put on his door and walked over to the window. The sun was gone. Just a red sky was left. And it was getting darker rapidly.

Remus inhaled sharply. Another cramp shook his body. He fell to his knees. Cold sweat ran over his body. The pain got overwhelming and Remus screamed. With all his willpower he looked up to the window again. He just wanted to get a glimpse of it. And there it was: The moon. In allits cold and mysterious beauty. Its light broke through the clouds and blinded his sensitive eyes. Butit seemed to warm him in a way. And suddenly, out of nowhere,he had to think of Hope. Remus clung to this thought. Her face, her voice, her smile. And all of a sudden, the pain lessened. When his bones broke, he didn't scream. He focused on Hope. And on the warm light which fell on his transforming body.

After the transformation was complete, Remus looked up to the moon once more. It was still having this comforting glow. He sat down and looked at it for a while. After an hour or something like that his eyes got tired. The wolf laid down under the window and was soon asleep.

He didn't know how long he had slept when the moonlight woke him. He stood and blinked his wolfish eyes. He looked out of the window again. He let his eyes wander over the roofs, until his eyes fixed on a single figure on one of these roofs, directly under the moon. The figure had female curves and long black hair. Her hands were raised up into the sky. It looked like she was holding the moon from Remus' place. The wind was moving her hair mysteriously and Remus thought he could hear a soft female voice sing, although he didn't recognise words. The hair in Remus' neck stood. He watched the woman praising the moon. Or wasn't it praising? Something in her desperate movement told him that she wasn't praising...she was begging. Suddenly, before he could stop himself, he raised his head and cried long and loud. After he had stopped, Remus saw the woman had turned around to him. And his heart stopped. Hope!

...No. It's not her, something told him. Her hair was different. She was smaller. But she wore this blue dress again, which he saw her wearing in his dream. And her eyes...Although Remus couldn't see her clearly, he knew it were her eyes. And she looked at him. Her eyes shone with happiness and...love. She smiled. Remus couldn't see but feel it. Something in him wanted to call her name. For one second he heard a name in his head, which he didn't know. But before he could get the name, it disappeared into his heart again.

Suddenly the woman reached out one hand into his direction, the other one pressed to her heart. Suddenly Remus heard a voice inside his head:

"Come to me! Please!"

Remus tried to move, but he couldn't.

"Don't go!"

"I'm here!" Remus shouted in his head.

"Don't leave me!" Tears ran down the woman's cheeks and her voice sounded frightened and desperate.

"I'm here!" Remus shouted again. Her voice had alarmed him and he got frightened himself.

"NO! I'm here! I'm here! Don't leave!" The woman sank to her knees and put her face into her hands.

Remus didn't know what to do. He seemed to be frozen to the ground. He wanted to callher, but he didn't have his human voice.

While Remus thought desperately about what to do, the light of the moon intensed. The woman looked up to the sky. The light seemed to close around her, grabbing her.

"No! Not yet!" Remus heard her voice inside of his head.

The light got brighter and brighter and Remus had to close his yellow eyes. And then he heard this scream again which hunted him in his dreams, full of deadly pain.

When Remus opened his eyes again, the woman was gone and the moon showedits cold face as if nothing had happened...

"Hey, Moony. Are you awake? I brought you some dinner."

Remus heard a loud knocking on his door. He moaned and opened his eyes. He was on his bed. In his room. Another knock on the door.

"Moony?"

"I'm coming!" Remus mumbled and stood up. He walked over to the door and took the charms off with his wand. Then he opened the door. Sirius stood there, holding a tablet on his hands. Remus stepped back and let him in. He walked over to his chair and pulled a t-shirt on. Sirius went over to his desk and put the food on it.

"How are you?" He asked while Remus sat down and began to eat hungrily.

"Has been worse."

"How come?"

Remus swallowed his meat and looked out of the window. Only roofs...

"I thought of Hope."

Sirius laughed. "So it's true that love eases the pain?"

"I don't think it wasn't just the thought of her."

"What do you mean?"

Remus sighed. "I don't know. I DON'T KNOW! I don't know what to think! Since I met Hope, everything feels weird. I have bad dreams. I have visions. Or WHATEVER! And last night I saw a woman on one of the roofs which I think was Hope and wasn't at the same time!" Remus sighed. "I guess I'm losing my mind."

He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

Sirius sat on the desk and looked at his friend.

"A woman on the roof?"

And so Remus told Sirius everything that had happened during last night.

"This is weird. And you're sure that this was real?"

Remus nodded.

"I agree with you, this IS strange...Talk to her. Maybe she can bring some light into the darkness. You know, when I talked to her, I also thought she knew more about you than she told me. There definitely is some kind of magic around her. But not the magic that is around us. It's...just like a shadow. Perhaps she doesn't even know that it's within her."

Remus thought about that.

"No. She knows. She always smiles at me so knowingly. Like she wants to tell me something. And last time we said goodbye she told me to listen."

"Listen? To what?"

Remus sighed again. "I'm not sure, Padfoot. But everytime I'm near her, I feel strange. Not like myself. And at the same time more like myself than ever before."

"Man, you definetly have to talk to her. I don't think you can solve this without her help."

Remus looked out of the window again.

"She reached out for me, Sirius. She told me to come to her. She cried. She was frightened. And she screamed...I've never heard someone scream like that. Maybe I'm danger to her."

"Then why would she call you? Maybe it's more dangerous for her if you **don't** get to her. Maybe she needs you."

Was Sirius right? He remembered his dream, where his touched burnt her. But why would she call out for him then?

"Tomorrow, I go talking to her."

Sirius tapped him on the shoulder. "I'm sure this will help both of you. And now eat...Oh, I nearly forgot. I brought you some chocolat from Molly's secret stock."

"Thank you, Sirius."

"No problem, Remus. That's what friends are for, right?"

Remus smiled and took the bar out of Sirius' hand. "Right."

"Shall I accompany you tomorrow?"

"In your dreams, mate!"

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "Was worth a try."

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I know that you hate to be locked-up in here. But we don't want to lose you."

"I know, I know. Don't worry. What would you do without my mental support?"

Remus laughed. "Exactly!"

While Remus ate, Sirius planned his meeting with Hope for him. It contented a lot of grabbing her and snogging her senseless. Remus just shook his head, although he painted these pictures in head and wondered what Hopes lips would taste like...

It was quarter past 3 when Remus arrived at Hopes house. And at once he recognised the awkward silence around the house. No wolves running around, not even the birds where singing. The sky was grey and two cars where parked in front of the house. The blue one was Hopes, but he didn't recognised the second car, a big silver VW. For a second he thought about going back home, for she already had a visitor, but the awkwardness here made him ring the door bell. He waited a few seconds before a woman with brown hair opened the door.

"Remus?"

"Oh, hi Kate!"

"Hi. Come in."

Remus stepped inside. No wolves came to greet him. The curtains in the living room were drawn, so that most of the light was excluded.

"Isn't Hope at home?" he asked.

"She is. But she's sick."

"Oh. Something serious?"

Kate sighed. "I don't know. It's the third time this happened."

"What happened?"

"That she is like that. I don't know how to describe it. It seems like all energy was sucked out of her body. The first time this happened was three months ago. I came to visit her. We always have breakfast together after I brought Tiana to school. Well, I came here and saw the wolves in the garden. As I came closer, I saw a white spot between them."

Kate shivered.

"It was her, Remus. She laid on the ground, unconscious. I never had a bigger shock in my whole live, believe me. I had to climb over that damn fence to reach her. Thank God the wolves kept her warm the whole night..."

"Why did she go outside?"

"She can't remember that she went outside. This is the scariest part, if you ask me. If you can't remember what you did..."

Remus froze. Suddenly a horrible picture was inside of his head: Hope, cleaning his wound during their first meeting. Touching his blood!

"Was she naked?"

"Pardon me?" Kate asked confused.

"Three months ago. Did you find her naked? Did she have scratches? Wounds? Or bitemarks?" Panic swung in his voice.

"No. She just laid there in her nighty."

Remus breathed a sigh of relief. So she hadn't become a werwolf. But what was wrong with her?

"Did she go to a doctor?"

Kate shook her head.

"No. She said she is alright. She just locked all doors at the last two full moons."

"So Hope knew that this would happen again?"

"Obviously. Remus, I can't tell you more than this. She doesn't talk to me about this...Maybe you should try to get something out of her."

"Me?"

"Yes. She trusts you."

"But she hardly knows me."

"This doesn't matter for her. You know how much she likes you. She trusts you more than any of us. In a very special way...Would you try it?"

Remus, who's cheeks had blushed, nodded. He followed a relieved Kate upstairs and found himself in front of her bedroom. Kate opened the door carefully. The room was darkened by the close-drawn curtains. All six wolves laid in the room. Freki and Lupa were on the bed while the others laid around it. Freki blocked Remus' view on Hope. But as soon as he entered, the wolves raised their heads and wagged their tale slowly to greet him. Freki looked at him for a second, then he got up and left the bed. Lupa followed him. They were very carefully so that they wouldn't wake her.

Hope seemed to be asleep. Remus looked at Kate, but she pushed him forwards. She got a chair from Hopes deks and put it next to her bed. She smiled at Remus and then left. Remus was alone with a sleeping Hope and six wolves. Slowly he went over to her bed. As he stood in front of her bed, he recognized how pale she was. Her lips seemed to have lost their color, her skin was as pale as the moon and her breathing was flat.

Remus said down and looked at her. She really looked exhausted, nearly dead. In a moment of overwhelming pitty and tenderness Remus let his fingers ran over her cheeks. He let his hand wander over her arm down to her hand, where he put his in hers and stroke her skin softly with his thumb, like she had done for him. And he got a response: Hope's hand closed around his and her eyebrows twitched. Then she turned her head slowly in his direction and opened her eyes. For a second they looked hollow and unfocused, until they met his. She shut her eyes again and a soft smile spread across her face.

"Remus", she whispered and a shiver ran over his body. He pressed her hand a little more. She opened her eyes again.

"Hi", he whispered. "You look awful."

Hope laughed softly and said: "Always charming, Mr Lupin."

After they smiled at each other, Hope continued: "You should have seen me yesterday. It was a lot worse."

"What happened?"

"Well...I had bad dreams. So to say."

As Remus looked into her eyes, he realised that she didn't mean what she said. And she didn't even try to hide it, for she was smiling at him. Remus didn't know what to think about this. Has she been the lady on the roof? Did she call him?

"What happened to you?" Hope asked suddenly. Remus had completely forgotten that he looked bad, too. He was pale and had a cut on his cheek and one on his hand. And thatjust were the cuts she could see. He had a lot more on his body, which he had gotten from his transformation, when his bone cracked and his skin enlarged.

He knew this was the right time to tell her. She had asked directly and she deserved an answer. But he didn't want to talk to her about this serious, everything changing topic, when she was so weak. So he just said:

"I had bad dreams, too."

Hope smiled. "Many people can't sleep in a full moon's night."

Remus just nodded. For a minute they just looked at each other and held their hands. Hope closed her eyes as Remus started to caress her hand with his thumb again and he noted that she got goosebumps. His heart nearly exploded as he saw how she reacted to him. And he got braver: He moved a little closer to her and bent a little bit down so that he could smell her lovely scent. Hope opened her eyes.

"It's so good to have you here, Remus. I already feel a lot better."

"I haven't done anything... I must be good."

Hope laughed.

"A little cocky today, aren't we Mr?"

"It's all your fault. Stop saying such things. I'm not used to this..." He didn't find the right word.

"Affection?" Hope volunteered.

Remus head suddenly felt hot. "See? That's what I mean."

Hope laughed again and placed her hand slowly on his cheek. She looked deep into his eyes as she whispered:

"But it's so easy to...like you, Remus."

Remus noted the hesitation.

"Thank you, Hope. It's easy to like you, too."

Again they shared a magical moment. And he saw that Hope had a little more color in her face.

"You really look better." He said and stroke her cheek with the back of his hand. Hope leaned into his hand and closed her eyes. Remus moved his hand, so that he cupped her cheek. For a few seconds he just held her like this. Then he felt something wet in his hand. A single tear ran into his hand. Hope laid her hand on his and pressed it against her skin. Another tear rolled into his hand. Remus had a lump in his throat. He couldn't speak, but he kneeled down in front of her bed and stroke her silky hair. Hope opened her eyes. Tears shimmered in them.

"Hope", Remus whispered before he took her in his arms. She clung to his body and Remus felt another tear ran down his neck. He held her closer and spotted soft kisses on her forehead.

"I'm sorry, Hope. I'm sorry."

Remus knew that it was his fault she was crying. He was sure now. She had been the woman who had called for him. And he hadn't answered.

"Please listen, Remus. Listen...I can't stand it any longer."

"I try. I want to. But I don't know how to answer."

She cried and pressed herself against him. He rocked her back and forth to calm her. She felt so fragile in his arms. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to answer her. But how? How could he safe her and himself? He felt so many things now: Pain, endless sadness, anger, love, frustration. He was overwhelmed by these feelings and didn't hear the voice in his heart, which cried out a name Remus had forgotten a long time ago...

They held each other for what seemed eternity, until Hope calmed down again. She was more relaxed now and her head laid over his heart. The beatcalmed her. She had her eyes closed, but her fingers played with his. Remus just said next to her, eyes closed, stroking her hair. It felt so good to hold her, to caress her. It felt right.

The overwhelming feelings had calmed down and he was himself again.

"Can I get you something? Some water? Or tea? Something to eat?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine again. I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm not myself today."

"It's my fault."  
She looked up to him. "No. It's mine." Her voice sounded sad. Just as Remus was about to ask what she meant, he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in", Hope said.

Kate opened the door and stepped into the room. She didn't seem to be surprised to see them in this position.

"Keno called me. He can't make it to fetch Tiana from her friend." Kate seemed to feel guilty.

"It's okay, Katie. Just go. I'm fine. I won't die, you know?" Hope tried to joke.

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"I will stay with her", Remus said.

Kate smiled gratefully. "That would be very nice of you. Thank you."

"No problem."

"I will hurry."

"Kate?" Hope asked.

"Yes?"

Hope looked down for a second and then said: "Please, don't bring her here. I don't want to worry her. You're worried enoughfor both of you. Just wait until Keno comes home. If this is okay for you, Remus."

"It's okay." They smiled at each other.

Kate looked relieved and said goodbye to them before she left.

Remus and Hope were alone again. They chatted about everything. Hope asked about Sirius. Remus got them some water and made them sandwitches. They listened to some music and talked about their childhood. Remus hated it to lie to her, but he didn't want to shock her. It has been enough shock for one day. Two hours had passed when Kate came back. The sun had set already and it was time for Remus to leave.

They hugged eath other gently as they said goodbye. Hope held Remus head close as she whispered:

"Next time you come we will talk."

"Yes", he answered, looking into her dark eyes. "There are many questions to answer."

Hope nodded. She looked down at his lips longingly and ran her finger carefully over his lips. They trembled at her touch. Remus pressed his lips against her finger. She smiled softly. She pressed the finger against her own lips. Remus stroke her cheek again.

"Goodbye", he whispered hoarsly.

"See you soon."

"Yes."

They shared another look. And then Remus left, with no question answered, but having many more.

No. **One** question was answered. She had called him. She was the woman on the roof, the woman in his dreams.

And she loved him.

He was sure now...

* * *

**A/N:** Maybe now you have a hunch what Hope is? I try to hurry with the next chapter, the big talk! And maybe the kiss that everybody is waiting for (me too):) See you, guys!


	7. Past and Present

**A/N: **Hi everyone! Yeah, I'm still alive! I'm soooooooooooooooooo sorry it took me so long to finish this chappi. AGAIN! Please forgive me! I wanted to make this my christmas gift for you, but I failed. cry I wish all of you a happy new year! May all your dreams come true! hug Thanks to all of you who review and tell me my faults! I really need criticism! (Although it makes me sad that I make so many mistakes! sigh)

But now on with the story! Enjoy

* * *

**Past and Present**

Remus wrapped his coat tighter around his body. It had turned cold. He was standind in the darkness in front of Hope's house. Remus took a deep breath. He had to calm his heart.

He would talk to Hope now. They would have a conversation which would change both their lives. In a good or bad way. Today he would finally get to know whatconnected him to Hope. Why she was so familiar. Why he had these visions when they were close. And**he** would tell her what he was. Remus swallowed hard at this thought. How would she react? He never had had Muggle-friends. He didn't know how Muggles react when they were told that the world they were living in wasn't what they thought. Would Hope be happy? Would she be mad? Would she be afraid of him? That would be the most terrible thing for him. If she would shrink away from him when he tried to touch her.When shejust saw the wolf in him andnot the man. Remus moaned. HOW should he tell her that he turned into a beast once in a month? He wanted to go home...Home..._Whereshall that be? _Remus asked himself bitterly.

But he pulled himself together. He wanted to be with Hope. And the only possible way was that she knew about his illness. He couldn't start a relationship with a lie.

Remus breathed deeply again and walked up to the front door. He rang.

"Come in", he heard someone scream from inside.

Remus opened the door and stepped in. While he was stripping off his coat and hanging it he looked around for Hope. Suddenly he heard her voice from upstairs:

"I'm coming. I just have to dry my hair. You're **too** early!"

"I'm sorry!" he shouted back.

"It's okay. Make yourself comfortable. If you want anything to drink or to eat, just help yourself. I'm hurrying!"

"Okay. Thank you."

Remushearda weird sound. That had to be the hing to dry the hair. He went into the kitchen and made some tea. While he was taking the mugs out of the cupboard he thought about how muchhe already felt at homehere. How much he liked it to be here. With her.

The whistle of the teapot startled him. He poured the hot water into the mugs with the tea bags and carried them into the living room. Just as he had sat down he heard loud barking coming from outside. As he looked up he saw the pack standing in front of the door.

Remus smiled. He stood up, went to the door and stepped outside. His animal friends greeted him enthusiastically and wagged their tails as Remus patted them.

"Why can't Hope be this excited about the wolf inside of me?"

"Remus?", he heard Hope's voice.

Freki barked and ran into the woods. The others followed him. Remus went back inside and shut the door. As he turned around, Hope entered the living room. Remus held his breath.

Hope wore black trousers which brought out her beautiful figure and a big turquoise pullover which had slipped down one side so that her shoulder was visible.The long blonde hair fell over her back.

"Hello Remus", Hope said softly.

"Hello Hope", he smiled back.

They approached each other slowly and Hope huddled against his body. Remus put his arms around her automatically and pulled her even closer. There it was again. This feeling, that he had smelled the scent of her hair before. That he had held her a thousand timeslike this. That it was right to hold her.

"You're cold", Hope said softly.

"I was outside to greet your family."

Hope chuckled. Remus let his hand wander through her silky hair.

"It's good to see you well again."

"Thanks for your call. That was so sweet of you."

This had been an adventure! Remus had had to go to Gringrotts to get some Muggle money. Then he had hadto find a phone box and her number. Hopehad beensurprised as she hadrecognised his voice:

"Oh! Hi Remus! What a nice surprise!"

"How are you?"

"I feel much better, thank you. Kate is caring for me. She stuffs every healthy fruit in me she can find. But she is overacting and treats me like a little child.She is just like a clucking hen!"

Suddenly Remus heard a dull sound. Then a laugh and a voicefrom far away. A rustling.

"Remus?"

"What happened?"

"Ah, Kate just felt the need to throw a pillow straight into my face. I dropped the earpiece, because I'm still extremely weak, you know. But Kate doesn't care."

Remus could hear Kate beef and chuckled. He loved Hope's humor.

"Poor Kate!" he said.

"PARDON ME? I am the victim! Which side are you on?"

Remus could hear Kate laugh triumphantically.

"Kate just wants to help, Hope."

"I know...How are you by the way?"

"I'm fine."

"Great. How is Sirius?"

"He isn't in a good mood. Very cranky lately," Remus answered honestly.

"Well, who isn't sometimes...I bet you aren't. You're always calm and settled."

_You have NO idea!_

"Since I met you, I'm not calm anymore!"

It was meant to be funny, but it failed. Hope's voice sounded serious, as she answered:

"I know...I'm sorry."

Remus didn't know what to say.

"I owe you some answers. I'm aware of that. I will answer them as good as possible."

"When?"

"Whenever you want."

"Next week? Thursday?"

"Okay. How about 8 pm?"

"Okay...Hope?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad that I met you. I didn't mean what I said."

"Really?"

Remus smiled and answered softly: "Really."

"I'm glad to have found you again...after such a long time."

Before Remus understood himself he said: "Much too long."

"Shall we sit down?", Hope asked into Remus' pullover.

"Okay."

"You made tea", Hope stated as she sat down, "thank you!"

"You're welome."

Both sipped silently a their teas. After some more sips, Hope leaned back and closed her eyes. She breathed in deeply. Remus could feel her nervousness. And this made him even more nervous. To see her so...vulnerable and weak had a weird affect on him: He wanted to protect her, to relieve her of this weight. At least once he wanted to be the stronger one.

Remus took her hand. She opened her eyes.

"Hope. I have to tell you something."

"I know."

"No. I mean something about me."

Hope raised her head and looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean?"

Remus looked at her hand. His heart beat so loud that he couldn't hear something else. He cleared his throat._ Get a grip, Lupin!_ Where should he start?

"You...know...that I don't have a car...and no cd-player. And that my clothes looked weird the first day we met."

"I don't care that you're not rich."

Remus shook his head.

"That's not the problem...Well, it is, but that's not what it's about...I don't have things which are normal for you. Phone, car, cd-player, this thing to dry your hair."

"Thing?"

"I don't know its name...cause we just don't need this thing."

"We?"

Remus let go of Hopes hand and rantrough his hair. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes.

"Wizards."

Hopes eyes widened. "Wizards?", she whispered.

Remus nodded.

"I'm a wizard, Hope. I grew up with magic. I went to the school of witchcraft and wizardy. There I learned everything about the spirit of magic and the history of wizardy. There I met Sirius. He's a wizard, too."

Remus waited for a reaction of Hope, but she just sat there.She had neitherfear nor anger in her eyes. Just surprise. So Remus went on with his story before he lost his bravery. He told her everything about the world of wizards and witches. How they lived next to Muggles - people without the ability to do magic - without getting discovered. How they travelled, how they communicated. At some point, a silent tear ran over her cheek. But Remus didn't dare to reach out and touch her hand. He was too afraid that she might wince back. He wouldn't survive this. So he went on. He told her about his friends, the Marauders, who he lost all in one night and why. And he told her everything about Harry Potter, the great son of his best friend James, and the unbearable burden he had to carry...

Hope still sat there like pertrified.She hadn't moved once since Remus started telling his story. Just more tears streamed down her cheeks, while her face showed no emotion at all. Remus wanted to stop. He couldn't stand seeing the woman he loved crying. But the worst part was still to tell.

"There is more."

Hope just looked at him questioningly. Remus swallowed hard. There was no turning back. He would lose her any moment...

"You wondered why your wolves are so friendly with me."

Hope nodded slowly.

"That's because...they recognised me...as one of them."

Hope knitted her brows sceptically. Remus inhaled deeply. He never had so much fear in his life.

"I...I am...I am a werwolf."

"What?" she exclaimed.

"I'm a werwolf. Once in a month, when the moon is full, I turn into a huge beast."

At first, Hope said nothing. She just looked at him. At his face, at his hair.

"Does it hurt?" she asked softly. She believed him.

"Yes", he answered.

"What does happen to you? Is your body the only thing that changes?"

Remus knew what she wanted to know. He shook his head.

"No. My conciousness is pressed into the background. I see what the wolf sees, but he is the one who acts. He dominates the body. I can't control it...unless I take the wolfsbane-potion. It lets me keep my mind."

"Did you get your scars from the wolf who bit you?"

Remus nodded.

"That's why you were so pale when you visited me?"

Remus nodded.

"That's why you hair has grey streaks?"

Remus nodded again.

"Because it is this painful?"she asked with her voice trembling.

Remus hesitated, but nodded.

Now Hope cried. She lunged at Remus and pressed him against her. He was completely taken by surprise. He'd never expected her to touch him unsolicited after she knew the truth about him. But obviously he was wrong. She had pulled him really close and clung to him, one hand in his hair.

"Please...please forgive me!"

Remus rubbed his hands up and down her back comfortingly.

"What shall I forgive you?"

"It's all my fault!"

"What?"

"The misery you had to bear. The pain which you have to bear at full moon, every month...It's a punishment."

"Punishment? For what?"

Hope relaxed her grip on him and sank against his breast. Her hand rested above his heart.

"For loving you more than her."

As she said this, something inside of him ringed, but he didn't get it.

"Her?"

Hope looked up again, her hand still on his heart. She seemed to be calm. Her voice was clear as she spoke.

"Ceridwen."

The name echoed inside of his body.

Ceridwen.

Hopes hand suddenly felt hot over his heart. His skin was more sensitiv. He looked into Hopes face. And for one split second, he could see a blue crescent shining on her forehead. And the black hair...Realisation struck him. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"You're a daughter of Avalon!" he whispered.

Hope nodded. "I was a priestress of themoon."

Avalon. The place where it all started. The magic. The great Goddess of the moon gave the gift of magic to her daughters andsons. They had the sight an the Great Mother told them what she wanted. It was a peaceful and a magic place...He saw pictures of it in his head. He had been there! He saw trees, cottages and...druids. He had been a druid! His heart bet faster. He saw pictures of his education. Herbs. Mushrooms. A harp...He hadn't been a good player. Nor a good singer...

"Do you remember our first meeting?", Hope asked gently.

Another picture flashed in his head. He was running through a forest. He felt fear...Someone hunted him. He fell. He felt the impact in his face. As he opened his eyes again, he saw three grimaces before him...robbers.But before they got him, someone stepped in front of him. He saw some light blue cloth. As he looked up, he saw black hair...the woman had spread her arms tutelary and shouted something at the robbers with a supernatural voice.They ran away. The next thing that he saw was a hand. As he took it, a jolt shot through his body. He looked up and saw into deep black eyes. Above of them shone the blue crescent...

"You saved me", Remus said, smiling.

Hope averted her eyes.

"From this day on, our lives have been connected. We became friends."

Remus felt a much stronger feeling than friendship in his heart. He put his hand over hers. Due to this, other pictures floated his mind. Pictures where he was with Hope: They laid together on a meadow and bathed in the sun. They walked through the forest and collected mushrooms. They sat in front of a cottage and Hope played the harp while Remus was at her feetlistening. They laid in a bed made of hay, eyes closed, she snuggled against him.

He said in a boat. Hope stood in front of him. All around them was mist. Then Hope raised her arms. As she lowered them, the mists parted. She whirled around and smiled at him proudly.

It was night. Big fires were built up everywhere. Her hair moved in the wind andflames danced in her eyes. They kissed. He felt her body. He touched her. Kissed her. Heard her moans.

"We have been lovers", he stated with reddened cheeks.

"Yes. But we weren't meant to be."

Remus didn't understand.

"Why?"

"The Goddess had other plans with me. I was meant for the Great Marriage. I should lay as the Goddess with the God..."

"...but you laidwith me", Remus said softly. Hope nodded.

Just as softly she answered: "I put my love to you above the love to the Goddess. I stepped in the way of her plans."

Remus remembered. It had been a scandal. The Highpriestress had been appaled. She had banned her.

"They banned you because of me."

"No. They banned me because I made a decision against the will of the Highpriestress."

"I'm so sorry. The Goddess had been your life." Remus didn't know why, but he knew it was true.

"Just until you came into my life," Hope smiled. She ran her hand over his cheek.

"I'm so glad the Goddess is still with you. You still have magic in your life."

"You don't?"

"No. I'm left with my memories..."

"Why can you remember and I can't?"

Hope shrug her shoulders and looked out of the window. "I don't know. Maybe it's part of the punishment. So that I'm aware of what I lost."

Remus squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."

Hope looked back. "Please stop saying this. You still don't know everything."

Remus looked at her questioningly. Hope averted her eyes again.

"Try to remember what happened after I've been banned."

Remus shut his eyes. Hope's hand was still on his chest. Her touch made it so much easier to see the pictures. To listen.

Hope had left Avalon. The Little Peopleat the shore, the servants of the priests and priestresses, had taken care of her. They had built her a hut. Although they had known she'd been banned, they still had seen the Goddess in her. Remus had visited her. She'd been happy when he was there. But Remus could feel her sadness. One morning he had woken up, the sheet next to him cold and empty. He put on some clothes and went outside. She had stood at the shore and looked into the distance. But the Holy Isle had been covered in mists. Her home wouldn't show its face to her. Instead of joining her, he had gone back to bed. He had known she would have been ashamed.

Remus looked at Hope. Tears were shimmering in her eyes. Now Remus understood that she saw the pictures, too.

"Yes, I longed to go home. But in your arms I've been happy.Then it hadjustbeen us...and the Goddess."

"I thought she banned you."

"The Highpriestress did. But she was just a human. I could still feel the Goddess inside of me. And the Little People could it, too."

"You were one of the mightiest", Remus stated. It recured to him. She had been supposed to be the next Lady of Avalon. The sight had been very strong in her.

Hope looked into the darkness again.

"The Goddess was merciful. She accepted that she had to share the throne in my heart with you. But I didn't understand this back then. The moon on my forehead faded fast and I was too afraid to call her. After my banishment I just called her once."

Hope's voice failed. For one moment Remus wondered why, but then a terrible pain run through him. He winced. His skin burned...Fire encircled his body. Suddenly he was standing on a platform.

No.

On a stake.

He could see the robbers standing at a distance and hear their laughter. They did this to him. The Fire singed his clothes. His skin. The pain got unbearable. He screamed. He begged the Goddess for mercy. And the Goddess answered. How did the Merlin saiy once? _Better be sure what to pray for, you might be heard._

Hope.

Her eyes were widened and she stood there petrified with horror. Remus felt fear. But not for himself, but for her. The flames reached his chin. Remus didn't scream. She would endager herself.

The laughter of the robbers woke Hope from her paralysis. She winced. Tears ran over her cheeks. Remus looked into her eyes and begged her: _Don't! It's okay! Save yourself!_

But she wasn't present anymore. The Goddess filled her body. The Crow. A piercing shriek came out of her mouth. She stepped out of the darkness and walked over to the stake. The robbers saw her and tried to stop her. But as soon they laid hands on her, they sank into the grass, dead. Her eyes were fixed upon Remus. He didn't feel the flames anymore.He just saw and felt the Goddess. The Mother now. She stood in front of him, reaching out for him. Her eyes were full of love and sadness.

"Please do not let her do this", Remus said, crying.

"She made her choice. She wants to take your place. She begged me for the Great Sacrifice."

The Goddess, who had Hope's face and not, spoke without moving her lips. She touched his shoulders and all his burns were healed. Remus begged: "But Avalon needs her!"

"She chose another path. She placed you above all others. About **Me**."

Remus could hear bitterness in her voice. The Goddess had put her arms around her shoulders and pressed her body against his. Remus couldn't describe what he felt. He felt the purity, the light, the love, the tenderness and the sadness of his Mother.

"Forgive her. Forgive us", he whispered.

But the Goddess didn't answer. She laid her head on his shoulder. And then she was gone and Hope was back. One heartbeat they held each other and Remus heard her whisper: "Even if I have to wander a thousand years in darkness, I will find you."

And then Remus was dashed away from the stake. He thudded on the ground. He was unconcious for one moment, but a bloodcurdling scream woke him.

Hope's scream.

The screamfrom his dreams...

Remus jumped up and went over to the window. So many feelings floated him: Mourning, anger, loneliness, love. All this mixed up to an insufferable combination. Every time he blinked, he could see Hope's burnt body in his arms. He felt the never ending loneliness which followed after her death. He had felt this loneliness for many lives.

"You gave me one life just to be separated from you for hundreds of lives."

Hope needed some time to answer. She stood up, too. But Remus didn't turn around.

"Everything happened so fast. I had to make a decision", she said defending herself.

"It was the wrong one." Remus could hear the bitterness and the pain in his voice. But he remembered everything now. He knew that the Great Sacrifice meant that the person who changed places with someone near death will be separated from this person in other lives.

"I know", he heard Hope behind his back. "I was scared...to lose you...to live without you** and **the Goddess...I couldn't stand it, Remus. You were the only one who gave my life sense. In that moment, when I saw you burning, I forgot everything. I saw myself, standing at the shore to Avalon, surrounded by mist...without you. I...I was cowardly...and selfish. I thought at least the Goddess would be in my next life...but she left me...and separated us...for so many lives...But I found you! I promised...Finally I have found you!"

Hope put her hand on Remus' shoulder. This and the desperation in her voice made him turn around. He looked at her. And the undying love he felt for this woman took him over. They'd been separated so long. But she found him...Like she had promised. Happiness spread inside of him like hehad neverfelt before. He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He pressed his lips fiercely on hers. Hope moaned and twined her arms around him. Their bodies were pressed against each other to feel it as intensive as possible. Hope opened her mouth. At once Remus' tongue was inside of it,caressing hers. The desire, which had been eliminated for such a long time, took over.

Remus dug his hands in her hair and pressed her mouth against his. They ripped of their clothes and Remus could feel her hands on his naked body. They didn't make it to Hope's bedroom. They just dumped down were they were standing and Remus covered her body with his. Every distance between them seemed to be painful. They needed each other.

A voice inside of Remus' head told him to slow down. But he couldn't. Nothing was more important at this moment than to reunite with the woman he had loved for so long. She should be his again.

And Hope felt the same. She pulled him closer, pressed her abdomen against his, nibbled his neck.

"Rems...Remus", Hope moaned hot in his ear, "please...I need you. I want to feel you."

As soon as she hadfinished the sentence, Remus was inside of her. The tight heat closed about him, greeted him. Both moaned. For one moment Remus didn't move. He enjoyed this feeling. To be so close to her, to possess her again. It felt amazing. But so familiar. So right!

After they had made love, they laid on the ground for a long time. No onesaid a word. Hope was stroking Remus' hair with one hand and his back with the other. Remus' head laid in her neck.

"Are you sleeping?" Hope finally asked gently.

Remus chuckled. "Nearly. It's so enjoyable what your doing."

"I know. The wolves love it when I do this...Obviously it's not different with werwolves."

Remus raised his head and smiled at her. Hope smiled back and laid her hand on his cheek. Remus ran through her hair. They looked at each other for a long time.

"I love you," Remus whispered finally.

"I love you", Hope answered.

Remus lowered his head and kissed her. But tenderly this time. Slowly and deeply.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" Hope asked after they finished.

Remus sighed. "I'd love to, but I can't. Sirius' is waiting for me. We have a meeting tomorrow."

"The Order of the Phoenix?"

Remus nodded. Hope sighed. "I'd love to see the magical world today."

"You will. It will be an honor for me to introduce you to Harry and the others...But it's just to dangerous at the moment...I don't want to lose you again."

Hope smiled and pulled him into another sweet kiss. Then she whispered: "You won't. Never again."

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own the world of Avalon, for the Avalon I mean was created by the great and fabulous Marion Zimmer-Bradley! I hope you guys understood everything. Did you read "The mists of Avalon"? If not, **DO**! It's great! And I mean great! I'm a big Zimmer-Bradley-Fan so I just HAD to make Hope a priestress! For all of you who haven't read the book, please forgive me if you didn't understand! Please let me know what you think! kiss 


	8. Light in the darkness

Light in the darkness

It rained cats and dogs. Typical british weather. Good that it was in the middle of the night and nobody had to go out. But there still was someone out there. He wandered around, nowhere to go. Once in a while he raised his head and let the rain drop on his face. His clothing was weird. He wore an unusual, dark-brown cloak, which was already soaked and sticking to the man's body. But the man didn't feel it. He felt wether the wetness nor the cold. He felt anything at all. Didn't want to feel. He walked through the empty streets of London, head bent down. Rain ran over his neck and his face. The drops made their way through dark eyebrows, down over his scars to jump from his nose. Some drops took their way over the soft curves of his lips and fell from his chin down to mother Earth.

Remus Lupin didn't recognise that the houses around him were less than before and that the streets got rougher. After eternity in darkness, suddenly light blinded him and he look up.

Hope's house.

If Remus would have allowed any feeling right now, he would have wondered how much his heart was bonded to her and that it always let his way to her. Before he understood he walked to her door and ringed the bell. When she opened and smiled at him, his heart started beating again.

"Remus! What happened?" Hope's smile was gone. She had realised the time and his condition.

Remus looked at her sadly.

"Sirius is dead."

Hope's eyes widened in shock and put her hand to her lips. But she recollected herself fast. Remus' look and his hanging shoulders gave her an idea of how much he had loved this man. And how alone he must feel now.

Hope stepped into the rain. Immediately her clothes were soaked and her hair stuck to her face. But she didn't care. Softly she put her hand on his cheek. The other one ran through his wet hair. Then she took him into his arms. She held him tight. Slowly, his arms closed around her and hugged her back. The light of her house fell on them while they were standing in the rain, clung to each other. Remus felt Hope's warm body and realised how cold he was. He absorbed her warmth. As always, she was his saving anchor, the light in the darkness. He felt her hand in his hair, her breath against his neck.

"Come in", she whispered in his ear. He nearly heard her through the hard rain. Remus just nodded. Hope took his hand and let him inside. As soon as he couldn't feel her warmth anymore, pictures rushed through his head: Bellatrix' ugly grin, the green flash, Sirius' suprised face, the fall through the veil. Heheard Harry's desperate scream...

Remus was so lost in these pictures that he didn't notewhen Hope removed his cloak and let him into the living room. He just saw Sirius. Casually he noted that she left him. Due to her absence he drowned again into his mourning.

He was the last Marauder. All his friends were dead now. He was alone...He should cry. For Sirius, his best friend. His last friend. But...he couldn't. He couldn't.

A hot cup was pressed into his hands. He looked up into Hope's beautiful face. Sadness shone through her eyes. And compassion. Her cold hand stroke his arm and she tried to smile. She sat down next to him and leaned against his knee. But she didn't do anything else. She didn't say such stupid things like "I'm sorry" or "It's okay". She just sat there, let him know he wasn't alone. And Remus was grateful for that.

They sat there for a long time, Remus lost in his dark thoughts, sometimes sipping on his tea andHope stroking his leg. Just Hope's sneeze could make Remus aware of that they were still in wet clothes. If he stayed any longer, he would make her sick. So he stood up and wanted to leave. As he wanted to grab his cloak, Hope's hand stopped him. The other one laid the cloak back onto the chair. She didn't spoke a word, but her eyes said everything: She didn't want to teve him alone, she wanted to be with him, wanted to comfort him. And something in the deep blackness told him that she could. So he didn't resist when she pulled him up the stairs, into her bedroom. He let her strip off his coat and open the buttons of his chemise. He could feel Hope's hot breath on his bare chest as she removed it. As she opened his belt, her cheeks blushed a little. He should really doff his clothes by himself. But at the moment, he just didn't care about anything.

Hope removed all his clothes and pushed him down on the bed. She put the blanket over him. Remus watched as she stripped off her clothes. Her body was so beautiful, but he couldn't adore it as he should at the moment...

Hope laid down next to him. They both laid close together. Hope looked at him for a while. She was holding his hand.

"You should let it out", she whispered suddenly.

"What?" Remus voice sounded hoarse. He hadn't spoke for some hours.

"Your feelings, Remus. Sadness. Desperation. Anger...Cry. Scream. Break something...otherwise it will destroy you from the inside."

Remus looked down. "I can't."

Hope let her finger run over the scar in his face. "Inner wounds don't heal as fast as these. If yu don't combat them, they will rip open again and again...I know."

Remus took Hope's hand and put it to his lips. He explored his inside for anyfeelings...

"I don't feel anything."

Hope pulled him close to her. "I'm here, love. Try to sleep."

Remus relaxed in her arms. Her heartbeat made him sleepy after a while. Her hands were stroking his hair and his back, just like he liked it...

He dreamed of Sirius. In this dream he reexperienced all the great adventures he had with the Marauders: Their first meeting and all their countless pranks...

As the light from the moon fell into his eyes, Remus woke up. He looked to the side. Hope was sleeping peacefully. Remus sat up and put his head into his hands. A tear fell on his leg. And another. He finally cried. He cried for his friend, for all the friends he had lost. He cried so hard that he hardly could breath.

Suddenly a blanket was wrapped around him and warm arms closed around his stomach.

Hope.

She pressed against his back and laid her head on his shoulder. She held him tight while he was crying. Although her presence comforted him, he needed quite a while to stop shedding tears. Hope held him...

Long time after Remus' tears ran dry, he and Hope sat on the bed in silence. Just as Remus thought that Hope must have fallen asleep, she started placing little kisses on his shoulder, wandering up to his neck.

"It will hurt for a long time. But you will find him again. You will be friends again."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Remus. I am."

"Thanks, Hope." Remus turned his head and kissed her softly.

"Let's sleep," Hope whispered against his lips.

As they laid down, Hope in his arms, Remus said goodbye to his friend. He knew that it wasn't goodbye forever. He fell asleep with a smile on his lips and his future in his arms.


	9. Accept your past, welcome your future

**Disclaimer and A/N:** I don't own Harry Potter, nor Remus Lupin, nor the world which JKR created. But I still own Hope and the pack! _hehe_

Once again I have to beg for mercy! It took me forever to write the lasst chapter. But this time I have a good excuse: I had to learn for my final exams! _lucky me_ And then I had problems with uploading this chapter. However, it's done now and I hope you like it! _hugs

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**Accept your past, welcome your future**

On a nice sunny day, Remus and Hope were walking on the street leading to Hogwarts. Finally the war was over and Remus had the opportunity to introduce her to his friends and colleagues. Apparently Hope was nervous. She held his hand firmly and with every step they came closer to the castle, she leaned more into him. He smiled and laid his arm around her.

"You don't have to be nervous, Hope. They won't bite you, you know."

Hope looked up to the castle. "I'm not nervous because of your friends, Remus. It's just…**that's** where you went to school?"

Remus followed her eyes. When he looked at the castle, it crossed his mind that muggles saw the castle as a ruin. Just as he was about to explain it to her, he heard her whisper:

"Wow!"

"You can see it?"

"Shouldn't I?"

"Well, no. Muggles normally see the castle as a ruin. An ancient, powerful spell was put on it so that the children could learn in peace and safety."

Hope was looking thoughtfully at the castle. Remus spoke out her thought:

"Maybe there is more magic in you than you thought."

"Who knows?"

She didn't want to talk about it. She never did. Remus had tried a thousand times to make her do some magic. He **knew** that she had done it before! For example that night when he had transformed and had seen the priestess standing on the roof. He was sure that this had been her, searching him. Or on that evening when she had told him their past. He had seen pictures in his head and he knew that she had shown them to him.

But she denied it. Remus guessed that she was afraid. Afraid of getting disappointed. To call the goddesswithout receiving an answer. She was so convinced of being alone. And Remus wanted to help her so much. But if she didn't open up to him, how could he?

Finally they reached the giant door. Hope was inhaling deeply.

"Do you think they'll like me?"

"How could anyone resist such a beautiful and charming young woman?"

"Bootlicker!"

Remus laughed. She really did look beautiful. Her long golden hair fell softly over her light blue dress. He didn't know if she was aware of it, but it was similar to the simple robe she hadworn as a priestess.

"Are you ready?" Remus asked.

"No."

Remus and Hope smiled at each other. Then Remus opened the door with a spell.

The Great Hall was packed with people. The ministry, the order, the students and their parents were there. In the background jazz was played whichmixed up with the chatting of the crowd.

"Didn't you say it would be a **small** 'war-is-over'-party?"

Hope took Remus' hand.

"That's what I've been told. Don't worry, honey. I'm with you."

Hope smiled weakly. Remus squeezed her hand encouragingly. Then he looked around, searching for the host. He didn't have to wait long before Dumbledore was coming towards them, McGonnagall close behind him.

"Welcome! Welcome both of you!" Dumbledore said warmly. He hugged Remus and Hope, who was a little surprised of such an intimate greeting.

"Albus, Minerva, this is my fiancée Hope Brandish. Hope, this is Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts and Professor Minerva McGonnagall."

"It's nice to meet you", Hope said smiling.

"It's indeed a special pleasure for me to meet the woman who makes Remus' eyes shine again."

Hope smiled shyly.

"Come on, Hope. You have to meet your new family."

Dumbledore took Hope's hand and led her to some people of the Order. Remus and Minerva followed them, talking.

Hope did very well. With every minute she stayed here, she lost a bit of her nervousness and became more and more of the charming woman she was.

"Now, Hope, I want you to meet Harry Potter, the young man who defeated Lord Voldemort and saved us all."

Harry, who had been talking to Hermione, Ron and Ginny, turned around. He still had a band-aid on his cheek and some scratches on his throat. He smiled, gave Hope his hand and said hallo. Hope greeted him. After that he greeted Ron and Hermione. Remus noticed that Ginny had stiffened when she had seen Hope and was looking at her with wide eyes. When Hope turned to Ginny, she stiffened, too. For a few seconds the women looked at each other. Then Ginny whispered:

"It's you, isn't it?"

Hope didn't answer, but Ginny smiled. "Your hair was different. It was black."

Harry took Ginny's hand. "What is it, Ginny?"

"Harry, this is the woman I told you about. The woman in my dreams. She was the one who showed me the house. She showed me where to find you."

Suddenly Ginny jumped into her arms.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! Without you I wouldn't have found him! I would have been to late…" She sobbed.

Hope put her arms around the girl and stroked her hair.

"You found him. I was just the light in the darkness."

Ginny let go of Hope and smiled at her. For a second, Hope looked surprised of her own words. But only Remus knew her well enough to notice this.

"Well, I guess I have to thank you, too. Professor Dumbledore told me that it was pretty close for me. One or two hours more and I would have been lost" Harry said.

Hope didn't know what to say. But Hermione - always the curious witch -did:

"Which spell did you use to appear in Ginny's dreams?"

"Well…I'm…ahem…"

"Hope is not a witch. She is a muggle."

Dead silence. No one said a word. Everyone was staring at Hope. Remus put his arm around her protectively. Hope's cheeks were flushed and she looked to the ground. Luckily Dumbledore took the word: "Maybe she is not a witch, but she isn't a muggle either. Magic has many faces. And it is around you, too, Hope. We all can feel this."

Everyone nodded. Hope looked up, tears in her eyes. But she smiled softly.

"However, I'm glad that Remus found someone in his old days" Harry joked.

Everyone laughed and the tightness was loosened.

"Why, thank you, Potter" Remus answered.

"Didn't you say you are 28, Remus?" Hope asked jokingly.

The little group laughed again. Remus laughed and gave her a kiss.

"Help me to the buffet, Hope. I can't walk such a long distance with my old legs."

"All right, grandpa!"

They nodded goodbye to the others and made their way to the buffet.

Later that night Remus and Hope laid snuggled together in their bed and were rethinking the evening.

"What did Dumbledore tell you?"

"Hm?"

"When I was coming from the bathroom."

"Oh…" Hope smiled. But didn't answer.

"So?"

"Well…he offered me to talk."

"Talk about what?"

"About…magic. He knows about our past. Why did you tell him, by the way?"

"I didn't...Sometimes I think Dumbledore knows everything. Really scary sometimes."

"He must be very powerful."

"He is indeed."

"This is all so exciting! I'm going to learn the art of magic again!"

Remus smiled and kissed her hair.

"I'm glad that you are happy, Hope."

Hope sat up and looked at him.

"And this is all because of you."

She kissed him tenderly. After they parted, Hope stroked his cheek and looked deeply into his eyes.

"Thank you for bringing me home, Remus."

Remus wiped away the tear which was running down her cheek.

"Thank you for making my life worth living it."

This night, just like many other nights following, they loved each other, swearing that they will never leave the other again…

**_The End_**

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**A/N:** Yeeeaaaah, it's finished! Wow, I didn't think I would make it! ;) I hope that everyone is satisfied with this ending and that you like the final chapter. Unfortunately I have to tell you that this was my first and last fanfic in english. It still is too difficult for me. I hate making mistakes. I'm not good enough in english to write a story...well, perfectly. And that's what I want. So I will have to learn more of this wonderful language, so that I can write a good story and use the words I want to use:)

Good bye and thank you SO MUCH for all your reviews and your wonderful encouraging support! I love you all! _getting a little sentimental here_


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